Category: Uncategorized (Page 33 of 188)

Scribbles to stories

We crossed over a huge milestone in my book. My baby boy learned to write. 

Now, I know many preschoolers have been etching letters for a while now – he is nearly 5. But I’ve purposefully taken a more hands-off approach when it comes to most things academic. We do lots of reading and talking about things like numbers and letters and colors, but nary a worksheet comes in the door, mostly because I figure we have years and years of those ahead. 
But my boy’s got tunnel vision when it comes to letters. We practiced our H’s and M’s so we can begin to recognize our names and we even practiced drawing some of those letters here and there. But all of a sudden, he wants to put all the letters together to make words – specifically, names. 
Out of the blue he asked how to write Baby M’s name and I told him (with 3 letters we had an easy win). But he came home from school today with a pile of papers with his name on it. I asked him (several times) if his teacher had helped him and he said no. He had remembered all the letters to his name, even in the correct order, for the most part. 
So he sat at the kitchen table during lunch today and practiced and practiced. He tried doing it without looking at his name on something else, memorizing the order, without even realizing he was memorizing. Then he asked to spell his sisters’ names. 
He’s filling pages with letters and names and knowing exactly which letter when I tell him what is next. I’ve had to reverse a J, but that’s it. He’s making all these brain connections and working intently at getting his hands to do what his eyes want them to do. 
This is not the same boy who I once held with one arm or nursed in the middle of the night, right? Tell me that my current baby boy won’t take such large leaps into personhood as quickly as this one did. All the growing up and the becoming his own self. I can’t take it. 
JJ and I have a motto for this crazy period of our life with so many littles… “life will look different in 5 years.” It’s more true than I care to think about. Today’s steps took us that much closer to “life in 5 years” when I don’t have all the diapers and strollers and naps. I’ll be trading these in for new challenges: spelling tests, homework folders and gym shoes. In the flash of an eye my littlest won’t be nursing and I’ll retire all the little white circles that litter my bedroom floor. My laundry will be filled with stinky socks and soccer uniforms instead. 
This period of my life when I keep my kids close, when I am their primary and sometimes only guide through the day, will end. They will all learn letters and words. They’ll write stories and books and make me cry.  They’ll get on a bus and they’ll experience the world and develop into these tiny little people.

It’s slipping, people. Slipping right through my fingers. That elusive thing of time, precious moments, falling right out of my hands if I’m not careful to pay attention. One day, I’ll look at scribbles hanging on my fridge and remember this day, the day it smacked me in the face that I get to do this thing called life one time and I’d better be fully present for it all. Those scribbles won’t be squiggly forever… they’ll round out and his hands will grow steady. 

So, it turns out I’m a “stuffer”

Many moons ago, I discussed with KLR (no doubt over a bottle of wine) our tendencies in dealing with people and relationships. We established that she was a stuffer that threw things (note to Unglued participants: not the imaginary “rocks” that come out in later arguments. No, we were talking about literal things. Pens. Shoes. How I love this woman!) and I was more of a head-on confronter. 

Either I’ve changed with age OR we misread my penchant for opening my mouth as a means of actually dealing with my emotions. 
I took the test and now that I’ve thought about it, I agree with the results:
Assessment available: www.ungluedbook.com/assessment 
On the cover this study seemed to focus on how not to yell at my kids or argue with my spouse; as our discussion the first evening progressed I became aware that these weren’t necessarily my struggles. Of course JJ and I disagree, but we’ve come to the place where we do so much more calmly and generally with the big picture in mind. (I say that and tonight we’ll have the world’s largest blow-up, just you watch). And I do yell at my kids at times – mostly in the evening, pre-bed hours – but I’d put my use of “words I regret” at the seldom-to-never category. I never realized that because I don’t “eat my words” I’m actually stuffing them down. 
Much like the fact that I’m a chatty introvert, I’m also a verbal stuffer. Sure, I’ll talk about the problem. I might even lay out the points of contention and even try to look at the big picture. What I don’t do is deal with the emotions involved. I’m like a relational mullet: business up front, a ratty, tangled emotional mess that needs tending to around back. 
A friend once said, about herself, “whatever I feel, I feel deeply.” I think I’m built with similar DNA – and because I feel deeply, sometimes what I feel becomes too overwhelming to deal with it effectively, so I stuff it way, way down. My means of dealing with these feelings: walking away. If something is hard in our relationship, I’ll just navigate around the relationship. I make people far, far too disposable in my life and I miss them dearly
Thus, in my relational tendencies, I’m the queen of “out of sight, out of mind”. Which makes me a very lonely person, indeed. Point of reference: my wonderful Book Club friends. I don’t miss them as much if I simply stop seeing them. Rather than spending my drive home ruminating over how I enjoyed them and wished to be close enough to connect with them more frequently, I simply stopped experiencing the joy of our evenings together. (Note to my ladies: this wasn’t a conscious choice! I totally told myself it was a logistical decision. And it kinda was. But this is true, too. Your monthly posts of how hilarious you all are tear me up with jealousy.)
Resolved: I will be honest with myself about how I feel. If I walk away to sort through feelings, I must return. 

In the Bowl

A while back JJ watched the movie “Forks Over Knives” and came home declaring our household shall consume less meat. Having put up with my dietary shenanigans for the past few years, I indulged him. Well, for that reason and because I think we (as a home and a culture) consume too much meat. 

Our game plan was to continue eating our favorite meals but prepare less meat and add vegetables whenever possible. So even if grilled chicken soak was on the menu, we made less chicken and added a salad option. From both a health and a budget perspective, we won. 
We don’t hold to a “Meatless Monday” tradition, but I do try to build it into the menu plan on a regular basis. This week I tossed in Spinach & Black Bean Enchiladas (note: I used a different sauce recipe not knowing this recipe had one. Enchilada sauce is super easy to make; I cut down on the chili powder so it’s not too spicy for the kids. Oh, and I abstained from the cheese. Feel free to add double in my honor.) I also had some rice leftover from the evening prior, so I tossed that in as well. 
Of course, the enchiladas were delicious. But the real win? I had more filling than room in the pan for enchiladas, so I just tossed it in the fridge. The mix is essentially rice, black beans, corn, cilantro, wilted spinach and a few shakes of cumin. 
So, for today’s lunch? A pre-chopped salad we keep on hand with a large scoop of heated leftover enchilada filling. I topped it with salsa, ranch (because I’m a true Ohioan) and crushed tortilla chips. De-lish. I had 2 bowls. 
The moral of this story? 
Make too much rice. Keep a perpetual bowl of salad in your fridge. Then toss a lot of things together with ranch and call it dinner. 
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