Category: Uncategorized (Page 150 of 188)

the season of lent is rapidly approaching and i’ve begun the process of pondering upon what sacrifice would be fitting for my season of life. i made the mistake of doing something interesting one year (though very fruitful in my life i must say), and now my cousin calls to find out what i’m giving up.

for some strange, sadistic reason i look forward to Lent. i love challenges, i love “personal growth” and i’m idealistic enough to think that perhaps by making an effort, things in life can actually get better.

this morning for the new sunday school (thoughts on that later) class i’m helping to gather we watched one of don miller’s new convergence videos on disappointment. it was wonderful conversation and the video talked about our times in “the desert” which is antithetical to the garden, the very place where we’re designed to be. but it’s in the desert in which we can fully experience the goodness of God. it’s like you can’t fully experience joy until you’ve also experienced some pain and suffering.

(valentine’s side note: jj asked me why i once said that i was never a crier until i started dating him. i referenced a quote that i’m not able to give verbatim that basically said that leprosy, a common disease of which jesus frequently healed, was the inability to feel. it’s very dangerous because you could cut off your hand and never know. on the flip side, you can’t feel good sensation either. so, as i explained to jj, with the experience of love you also encounter tears, but it’s a good thing – it’s a part of being able to truly feel).

[return to main topic]. i really appreciate the disciplines as a way of exposing myself to the desert. that’s what the 40 days is supposed to identify you with: Jesus’ time in the desert. when you deny yourself, when you suffer, you can then also catch glimpses of joy that you wouldn’t have otherwise experienced.

i think there’s a camp of people out there who don’t appreciate the disciplines because they think it’s works-based. i disagree. it’s participation, not causation. so, on a similar note, i read donald miller’s blog today about faithful living (i know, i’m a walking don commercial today):
Our faith is not about magic, it’s about partnering with God to see remarkable things happen through faithfulness and consistency over a long-period of time. If we buy into the instant-results mindset of our culture (that is depressed and confused itself) we will become very frustrated with God. God has a system for growing food. If one farmer does no work, but prays and sings to God, and another farmer does work, and does not pray or sing to God, then the farmer who prayed will starve and the farmer who worked will eat, because even though the second farmer didn’t acknowledge God, he understood God’s ways and he adhered to the principles God created. The first farmer was just looking for a magic show.

so now i have just a few short days left to pray and consider what field of my life i’m looking for God to cultivate – and what i need to do to work the land so that something might grow.

i work with a pretty smart guy, DW*. today i beckoned him to my cube, touting cookies as a bribe, so he could tell me how to deal with a particular situation. without getting into work-speak, i had put in a request for a department to complete a task, and the person assigned to that task didn’t necessarily complete it to the standards of which i’d hoped. now, i used to be a part of this department, so i have somewhat high expectations of what can be done. long and short: i was ticked.

but DW is a man of logic and humor. i really did ask him so that he really could tell me how to handle – if i wanted ONLY to complain, i probably would’ve IMed JM or KM, folks who aren’t tied to the department. but i want to make things better, so i asked The Man.

he gave me a wise bit of wisdom that i believe is going to transcend my need for qualifed ASE technicians in nashville, tennessee. as i asked him how to effectively communicate my frustrations, he said, “it’s not your job to tell us what to do, it’s your job to tell us what you want.” huh. how about that.

not only is it quite catchy, i think it’s also true. i think that’s where the frustration of micro-managing happens: when we’re given a task and not given the freedom to have creativity and ownership of its completion. even in marriage and other relationships i think it could be true. we must communicate what we want or need from our counterpart without necessarily telling them how to do it. this is something i find incredibly difficult. when i find a way of doing something, i like to think it’s the best possible way – and thus, all people should be doing it this way. but that is not always necessarily true. yes, i did just admit that. baby steps, you see.

so that was my learning curve of the day. how to communicate effectively what i want (X number of people at this status, please, with at least one certification and a background in Y) but give people the opportunity to do what they’re good at in an effort to meet those expectations.

*really, this guy DOES know everything.

things on this blog have been a bit heavy lately. i blame the lack of sleep. i have nothing to do but lay there and think. and the husband worries when i do too much of that (thinking, that is). so tonight is just a nice conglomeration of random thoughts.

1. i hate sinuses. i would likely give up my sense of smell (not taste) to get rid of mine this week.
2. baby #2 is either a dancer or a soccer player. it’s like a little disco in there currently. i suppose it *could* be the tollhouse pie.
3. i love love love living a quick, driveable distance from family. H and i made a quick trip today; totally worth it.
4. typically when you do one of those bible studies about “spiritual gifts” the hospitality is written off as the person who provides coffee. not so. my husband has been blessed with a double dose of hospitality and i’m so grateful for it. we hosted our “dinner for 8” with the church tonight and he is so – so! – good about welcoming people into our home, making others comfortable and generally being, well, hospitable. and if it wasn’t for him i would’ve served the ketchup straight from the bottle.
5. the kid is a walking machine. we’ve now mastered getting up on our own from the floor. it’s quite hilarious to watch the learning process on that skill – it involves lots of turning, and falling and arms in the air, but man it’s stinkin’ cute. but the kid in footie jammies and there you are, wrapped around his pinky finger.
6. i’m ready to go back to my non-40-hour work weeks. i know, i have 2.5 months before i do. but i’ll be ready. having the morning with the kid and time to make dinner – wow. i forgot what that was like. and it was nice. told myself not to get too used to it yet.
7. the hubs is going to be an excellent teacher. you should know that in case he teaches your kid some day. and i love being able to discuss with him what it means for a student to get excited about learning and to take ownership of learning. he’s one of those teachers who just reallllly wants to see that happen. i love it. and him.
8. speaking of a man full of grace – i need to wrap up the blog so he can get some homework done.

*peace*