Year: 2014 (Page 36 of 37)

Brittany Spears, Dating and Hearing God

January 13, 2014 / Michele Minehart

My junior year of college I took a class on the History of the Jewish Holocaust, by far the most enriching of my college career. Because I’m a nerd, I typically arrived early. Over time I chatted with fellow nerd and nice guy, Merrill. He was in J-school and we’d shared a few other classes.

One particular day I was reading The Post and saw a review of the Brittany Spears movie and made some comment. Merrill inquired if I was going to watch it. “HA! No, thank you. I don’t think she has much talent in her original trade, let alone acting,” I said (or something similarly snarky).

Later – and not just later that day. Like several days later. I’m a quick one – I recollected the conversation to realize he hadn’t asked if I was going to watch the movie – he asked did I want to go see the movie.

Like, with him.

Oops. So that explains the awkward change in conversational tone in the days following.

I totally rejected him without even knowing or intending to do so. I’m one of the few people I know who can get asked out and not even realize it. (If you’ve done this, please share in the comments of the blog. Please let me know I’m not alone). The funny thing is: I totally would have said yes. He was a nice guy and I didn’t keep a long list or potential suitors. I would have enjoyed an evening out, even if spent with Brittany Spears.

I have to wonder: have I ever done this to God? Have I ever thought he was saying one thing, only to give a completely sarcastic response? Have I missed what He asks me to do because I think the task sounds ridiculous?

Probably. That’s because I’m so focused on the activity. I doubt Merrill really wanted to see Brittany Spears, though perhaps he was a closet fan. The invitation wasn’t one of content, but one of relationship.

“God doesn’t speak to me,” I hear people say. Well, perhaps that’s because we think that when he asks us to go somewhere, you laugh in his face. Perhaps you think it’s about the task before you rather than the person beside you. We don’t hear what He’s truly asking.

I don’t advocate adapting a Yes, Man attitude – we need not do everything asked of us, just like I wouldn’t date any ol’ fella. But how many good and worthy requests slip by us unnoticed because we roll our eyes at the prospect of an evening spent doing that?

Let us be listeners, not just about the task at hand, but of the voice who is inviting us to share the experience.

The fallacy of the share button

January 10, 2014 / Michele Minehart

A while back I posted an article on FB regarding Devion, the orphan who went to a church asking “someone, anyone” to adopt him. It left an imprint on my heart that a teenager would so bravely become vulnerable to so many strangers. I can’t imagine the hurt he feels for him to break through an I’m-alright-I-don’t-need-anyone facade.

Later, it struck me how many people had commented on the link or shared it, remarking how much their heart hurt for the boy. I did it. I shared it out of my feed and and it did leave a chip in my heart.

And then, it just stopped. Did I call to find out more? No. Did I do more reading about stateside adoption and foster care? No. I went about my day. I made dinner. I ran a bath. I probably read my book club book.

I love social media and the access to information it provides. But with great privilege comes great responsibility. The trouble with our information age is we’re sopping wet, swimming in information, so much so that we hardly have a chance to let it soak in. We’ve developed scales because we simply cannot let so much hurt or pain we see in the world really get into our hearts and have an impact.

Shane Hipps has a book about the Hidden Power of the Electronic Culture: How Media Shapes Faith, Gospel and Church. I haven’t read the book in its entirety but I heard a message he gave on its principles. The basic idea is that we have so much access to information that we become dull to it.

Even worse, we begin to believe that we’re “doing something” to spread the word of the world’s evils by hitting the share button, when in fact we’re simply actively, rather than passively, ignoring the need. We’re looking the world’s challenges in the eye, nodding, and wishing them a nice day. “Someone should do something about that,” we say.

I belong in the choir loft on this one – I love sharing what I read. (Defense number one: I honestly share a very small proportion of what I read. I tend to read so much that I have to share a small proportion of it or I believe I’ll bust. I need to converse about these things). But while we jump hurdle #1 of awareness, we stand in front of the next one and gawk at it. Whew, I’m so tired from telling all my friends that I don’t have any energy to actually do something about it.

I, like many others, frequently wish to take action but feel so small and inadequate in dealing with the world’s problems. Sometimes the only thing I can think of doing is hitting the share button. Perhaps that’s okay, as long as I don’t let myself be fooled into thinking I’m making a huge difference until I put on my shoes. It’s not just the talking, but the walking, that will matter at the end of the day.

As often as you can

January 9, 2014 / Michele Minehart

When I visited Portland last winter for my Momcation, I enjoyed a conversation with a mom-to-be and mother-of-one about parenting. While they are both in the education field, I was pregnant with my fourth, which elevated me to resident “professional” status in the world of rearing children. Or, at least, birthing them.

Through the course of breakfast (which, by the way, AMAZING. Put the Screened Porch on your list of Portland musts) it became clear that I adhere to a more hands-off approach to parenting. At one point I described H-boy and his tendencies to be perfectionist and want things just so. My new friend-of-a-friend remarked, “is your husband that way? Is that where he gets it?”

HA.

Um, no, I responded. That would be me. She was a tad surprised, given our conversation, so I explained, “I work very hard at being laid back.”

I do very little in my parenting life that’s not pre-meditated. I consider the short- and long-term effects of serving ranch with our salad and I find systematic ways to rotate who sits in the front of the bathtub on a given night, though NONE of the children seem to remember who did it yester-yesterday, as Miss M would say.

This brain of mine, it does. not. stop.

I try to take it easy. When I “let things roll off my back” it’s because I’ve contorted myself into some sort of Cirque de Soliel-worthy gymnastics. I’m not naturally an emotionally limber person.

However, I do find that with some stretches I’m doing better and it’s so worth it. Far less emotional injuries. And the better I do at saying, “ah, it’s just water” or “sure, I can help you” the easier it is to parent these children.

A wise person once told me to “say yes as often as you can.” I love this. I’m trying. Because is there really a good reason why he can’t sleep with the hockey puck? Or sort the salad on her plate? Sure, convenience can get a vote – but not be a dictator.

I’ll defend my need for order until the final high school graduation – we wouldn’t eat or show up for school without it. That mom, with her menu plan for the week and the budget for the month, well she sits at the table, too. But I’m glad that she’s let Chill Mom come out to play every once in a while. I’m hoping she can make more frequent appearances – especially on snow days.

Year: 2014 (Page 36 of 37)

Brittany Spears, Dating and Hearing God

As often as you can

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