(The Halloween Episode). 

1. I see all these parents shamefully admitting to “stealing my kids’ candy when they sleep.” And I ask why? WHY! Why wait until they slumber? And why the sheepish looks? It’s called sharing, kids. Someday you’ll have to pay taxes in similar fashion. 
2. If asking neighbors for free stuff, then you must show your holiday spirit. In this case, it means costumed. The mock-football jersey you wore on Saturday to root on your team does not count. Nor does anything that shows a lot of cleavage. 
3. I cannot justify spending more money on a ready-made costume than on the candy. It shows lack of creativity and willingness to become resourceful. However, I inherited my mother’s skills in this regard (LOVE you, Marj!). Soooo… costumes will probably be limited to makeshift piece-togethers that involve robes and cheerleading skirts.  
4. Lingering isn’t allowed. After enjoying a few pieces of the net profit and saving a few for the next day, we shall have a visit from the Pumpkin fairy (*I tried to find the link of where I first read this. I cannot. I’m sorry. But it’s not my own concept).
I cannot think of a 5th (and I enjoy the odd numbers). I’m sure Husband or the children will chime in with their own, if not now than in 15 years while on Oprah. OR someone in my family has an opinion. Or KLR will pipe in the ways she wouldn’t do it. 
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