Category: ethics (Page 4 of 4)

Who wears short shorts?

Packing for 4 for any length of time can be quite an event. While I am quite practiced at it and each child has a bag and they even help me gather the necessary items, I have found the best approach to be to pack on a grid: types of clothes in a line for each kid.

Pack on the grid

And while I check and double check, invariably someone arrives without a swimsuit, underwear or seasonally appropriate shirts. I’ve accepted it as my lot in life .

So when I dug through 3 baskets full of clean clothes and couldn’t find a single pair of shorts for Baby M, frustration arose. Digging, digging. Aha! Yes. When he ends up without pants, it will be a surprise, not because nothing is clean.

Then I realized they weren’t his shorts. They belong to the (nearly) 3-year-old daughter.

Short Shorts

On the right: Girls size 3t. On the left: Boys size 6-9 months.

I’ve realized that these shorts were, well, short. Most of them are. Frustratingly so. Both of my girls have more than a pair of shorts that don’t pass the fingertip rule.

My problem is a little bit the lack of modest options for my 3 – THREE – year old. But the other problem is the double standard. The clothes makers are cutting the same pattern for my 3-year-old girl as my 6-9 month old son. (In actuality, he’s a year old, but apparently quite the scrawny guy.)

The shorts I folded for my oldest boy when he was 3 were distinctly bigger than his infant sister’s. Why is this not the case for the girls in comparison to the infant brother?

Part of the solution is me – and you – the consumer. We buy it and therefore it continues. It’s a known economic fact that companies rarely continue product lines that sit on the shelf year after year. So solution #1 is to stop buying short shorts.

This incident is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my internal struggle to talk about bodies and sexuality and standards, especially with my girls. (Note: I’m quite careful that the boys hear the same message, but they generally have to think very little about what they wear.) How do we explain differences, some that are anatomical and some that are socially-driven? Why do we expect certain things from boys and girls? Quite clearly, we’re different, only one of the genders can carry a baby on the inside. But how does that translate into how we look at our bodies and then dress them?

This morning H Boy asked if he could go to swimming lessons in just his trunks, without his sun shirt, and I agreed. So, of course, Miss M asked if she could go bottoms-only. I told her no and, as expected, she wanted to know why. It didn’t make sense in her head: boys boobies and girls boobies at this point look pretty much the same. Why is one person’s expected to be covered? (My response was that I wasn’t sure, but I thought it was related to girls being able to feed babies with their boobies. Which is not helpful because I think it’s completely appropriate to feed babies in plain view. I’m discrete when I nurse, but your discomfort with my breast is not a reflection of me or my hungry child, it’s an indication of your view of breasts.)

Teaching modesty is a struggle for me right now. I don’t believe short shorts are advantageous to anyone in our society and while I want my girls (and boys) to be free to express themselves through their fashion, I’m not sure short shorts express anything noble except to say “ASS”. Honestly. What else do short shorts say? Am I missing something? I don’t believe the girls choose the short shorts because they advertise their sexuality, but I do believe they wear them because they’re available. It’s what they know.

Oh, dear reader, we’re in for a journey on this one. Stay tuned.

When you give the sick a hand gun

One of my family members suffers from a significant mental illness. It debilitates him to the point that he cannot work, even at a fast food joint, and the state agreed. He receives a small amount of money for living expenses, namely to pay rent because the state did allow him to live outside of direct monitoring. His parents kept a good eye on him, checked in regularly and felt they had a grasp on his condition and whereabouts.

About a year ago he was taken to jail. He somehow laid hold of a handgun. It made sense to him to practice, so he went into his back yard and shot off several rounds. His neighbors, just a few hundred feet away, freaked out (rightly so) and called the cops (100% justified. We’re thankful!).

Our family was shocked and scared. Everyone was thinking the same thing: How the HELL did he get a gun?

We. Don’t. Know. (He has since been put back into the care of his parents).

He lives in Hardin County, where guns are as common as dogs. Perhaps he picked it up at the lemonade stand on the corner. Or he traded an X-box for it. We really don’t know. If he did go to a legal source for firearms, we’ve got a bigger problem because this individual is legally deemed unable to function as a normal citizen of society.

So, we’re left with: where did the gun come from?

One day I was perusing the Miami County Online Rummage Sale. This is what pops into the feed:

guns

 

Yes, an online garage sale. And let’s note why the interested party didn’t follow through.

Gun control is a complicated issue, not easily resolved in a single blog post, though several of us have tried. I realize that we have a population of responsible gun-owning citizens (full disclosure: we have guns in our house, in a locked safe). The majority reports to the correct authorities when they buy or sell a weapon and follow proper procedure (or what there is).

Yet the mentally ill can easily navigate their social context – or even Facebook – and find what they’re looking for. Sometimes, it even gets delivered to the newsfeed.

I know little about the last shooting. I don’t have statistics or figures about gun violence or deterrence. I don’t even have solutions. I have a mentally ill family member able to get his hands on a pistol scaring the BeJebus out of the neighborhood.

Some advocate for our right to carry, but no number of gun-carrying citizens stopped him from shooting in his back yard. Praise Jesus, because I can only imagine his response. More guns is not the answer. No guns is not an answer.

Caring for the mentally ill might be an answer. Monitoring the loose methods of buying and selling firearms might be an answer. Really, I think we have an open space of possible answers if we simply decide that the current mode of operation simply isn’t working.

the bucks of star

I sat down this evening to watch a 20/20 anchoress grill the new CEO of GE on corporate responsibility, evading taxes and job creation. It was a fascinating interview, ending with the face of GE asking why Americans didn’t route for him/them as “Germany roots for Siemens and Japan roots for Toshiba.” He believes that if given a tax vacation, American companies would create jobs, even though a previous, similar experiment failed to produce those results.
Then, as I attempted to catch up on my bloggy news (all 172 unread posts), I came across Late Enough’s public service announcement: Someone Needs To Tell The American People: Corporations Don’t Care. I’m generally unfamiliar with this march on Wall Street (though I’ve seen some pictures and am beginning to connect the dots), and I don’t necessarily share all of her views, her post – complete with fantastic graphic – is worth a gander. It might not leave you with a warm, fuzzy feeling toward American corporations, so when you leave there, do a little google search on “Starbucks and stateside microeconomics”. Time reported that Starbucks is now putting out tip jars to invite customers to join with it in helping cure the American economy by an attempt at micro-economic loans for stateside small businesses.
All this caught my attention ever since I posted about my connection between parenting and politics. I said, and I quote (whoa… what is the protocol around self-quoting?): Change begins with you, my friend. I didn’t think much about it until my cousin quoted that line and shared it on facebook (see? I was actually quoting a quoter. Totally legit). I hadn’t intended on making some brilliant political insinuation, but upon reflection, I had. And I believe it more now than when I, albeit accidently, wrote it.
On the eve of a big – if you ask me, potentially game changing – election, I think We the People need to engage in some healthy self-reflection on the topic of change. What have we asked of our leaders? And how have we gone about being, as my smarter-than-me friend puts it, “part of the solution rather than part of the problem”?
We want jobs. We want economic relief. We want change. But what are we wiling to do – to change – to get there?  On a macro- and micro- level our country has asked our elected representatives to do something that we ourselves are not willing to live. We’re asking them to fill the pool without offering a foot of hose; in essence leaving them at the mercy of the rain gods. We’re too smart – too innovative – of a country to believe that’s where solutions come from.
My list of excuses centers around: but what can I do? I’m just one person. I can’t create a job. I can’t hire someone. I can barely afford to purchase locally grown food to support the farmer down the road, let alone offer a loan to a start-up business.
But I can put a dollar in the tip jar to partner with a huge corporation in an endeavor to make change. I can, as a shareholder in any publicly traded company, give some voice that perhaps bottom line isn’t the only consideration – if we want to see long term gains, the company should be investing in people. And, as previously mentioned, there’s power in the dollar. Until GE wants to jump in with us to try to make change in the landscape of American jobs, perhaps I’ll look elsewhere for my major household appliances. We can “buy American” all we want, but before patting ourselves on the back perhaps we should ask if that company is hiring Americans. In this vein, I could write a separate but similar post about why I buy Honda.
So here’s to stepping up to the plate. With much hope, these gains in the world of small businesses will set afire a new collaboration of local businesses, all investing in one another, to create a new economy.
Cheers.

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