Until this year, the greatest satisfaction in Christmas shopping came when I could cross it off my list. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy giving gifts. Those serendipitous finds that scream a person’s name can make my day. But I’d be all for voting that we give gifts based upon those findings, not because the 25th day of the 12th month has arrived. It’s like forced gratitude – I’m sure it has its place, but the whole concept seems a bit misguided.
Each year I approach the Month O’ Consumerism with attempts to discover what my loved ones “need” or want. The answer is nothing. We live in a place and time of abundance. No matter if it’s a “down economy” my circle has always had a full pantry and closet, which is 200% above what 2/3 of the world might wake up to – every day.
Besides, isn’t leaving a Christmas list full of “needs” a bit selfish? Stuff that we don’t want to have to put away for, the disciplined act of planning and saving and researching and purchasing – we’ll just add it to the Christmas list. Or the guilt-laden things. The fact that we want something that we might later feel guilt for purchasing so therefore we allow those who are obligated to shop for us do the dirty work – well, my pining for an ipad hasn’t escaped me. Let’s just say that. (Do I need to mention that in our house there are 3 ipods, an iphone, a Macbook and a regular laptop? Clearly not a “need”).
So this year I approached Christmas a bit differently. My original goal was to buy local – I wanted to be able to meet the maker of every gift. While I wasn’t at a 100% satisfaction rate, I did well. Several purchases from Etsy, a friend who owns her own printing company and a “made in Ohio” gift store at Easton made this much more simple (though I didn’t actually meet all these makers, I decided with little effort, I *could* and thus meeting the spirit of the law). I also made several of my own gifts and complemented them with other purchases – thank you very much, vintage Sears Kenmore. Oh, and big props to the local Goodwill Industries for being the sole contributor to little V’s box of joy that awaits her.
While I had somewhat economic and philosophical leadings for this little project, it should not come to any surprise that the act of gift giving this season escalated my own satisfaction. I’m downright GIDDY to give these presents away. I believe them to be presents that the recipients will truly enjoy – a category outside the need and want. For the kids, I look forward to the play and the experiences that are forthcoming. For the adults, I hope that the personalized nature and thoughtfulness expresses my feelings of privilege for having such wonderful people in my life.
As I said, I’m not at 100%. Maybe I never will be. But this season has changed from the chore of finding to the joy of giving, and that’s reason enough to continue to allow my approach to Christmas to evolve.
Category: christmas (Page 3 of 3)
I’m attempting to create our family Christmas cards, even though we haven’t had a family photo taken since… oh, summer of 2010. But today only (well, ok. Today is the last day) to get 30% off the cards plus an additional $10 off plus free shipping! So in typical reactive mode, I’m trying to pull together the best of the few snaps I took throughout the year to compose a friendly greeting.
Now that the photo collage doesn’t look to bad, it’s time to compose the greeting. I like to remember the Reason for the Season, so I tried to turn to a few of the notable Bible verses. Except, it’s quite difficult to use these references in the same year that you had a new baby.
“They had a son and named him Jesus.”
Uh, I thought you had a daughter this past July?
“And then the whole family fled…”
Except that our new home is no where near Egypt.
Or what about the old faithful “a Savior is born.”
That, my friends, would be the first of many reasons Baby C ends up having a Messiah Complex.
We have a big birthday coming up. Not so much huge step up the hill, but it’s markedly different than H’s last birthday, as now he has a sister who possesses an awareness of toys and receiving gifts. Last year she was barely crawling. Yikes! How a year goes so quickly…
So between the birthday and Christmas coming about, it made me do some thinking about how we approach ownership in our home. Up to this point, neither kids really “possess” anything of their own. H regularly rides M’s pink and purple tricycle (much to his father’s chagrin), since she can’t yet and she is clueless about it. All toys remain in their respective homes – the first to begin play gets the first round. If both show interest and a fight erupts, the second on the scene must wait their turn and find a different toy in the meantime. Honestly, even food and drink are experienced in this fashion. Milk cups and ham slices are to be passed around. (However, don’t think me more thoughtful than you ought; this approach was conceived mostly out of laziness.)
But soon and very soon H will unwrap a series of gifts to be “his.” I’m not sure what to think about this. I’m kinda digging our communal living approach. I’ll go so far as to say it’s biblical. In actuality, we own nothing – it’s been given to us as a blessing to steward and care for, and can be taken away just as easily. Now now, I hear you say in your head, “what I purchase with the money I earned is mine.” And while I’ll grant a little latitude, I’ll simply ask the source of your gifts and abilities that make work possible. What if you were gored by an ox or fell in a deep fryer and the brain, arms, legs or mouth that you use to make a living is no longer at your disposal? I say, my friends, even the ability to work hard for a paycheck is a gift not to be overlooked.
So I like that currently my children own nothing. In the house which they live there are boxes and shelves of toys which they are welcome to play with, but they must take care of them and return them to their rightful places at the end of the day. And these same toys will be played with by siblings alike. I’m hoping this approach places the idea of stewardship into more than just what numbers we put in a plate on Sunday.
However. I have doubt. Oh, yes, there’s always doubt in this little brain, and this time I’m going to share it aloud. Will an ownership-free childhood deprive them of what it means to give? How does the concept of having something and choosing to give it away fit into the idea that it wasn’t theirs to begin with? Is it strengthened or weakened? And will they value something less if it’s not “theirs”? Will they take advantage of and be careless with the things that they feel no direct ownership of?
And hear me clearly: we have too many grandparents in the mix for me to feel as if we’ll escape 18 years without hearing “It’s my _____!” Birthdays and Christmases are fast approaching where each will unwrap his/her own and then suddenly feel as if said toy needs to be protected from siblings. (Which, I’m sure, will lead to comparison, and we’re sure to hear “it’s not fair! I want one of those”).
But surely there has to be a way. There has to be. I know I’m not to the first to wrestle with this. I don’t want to mindlessly accept the current models of consumerism and materialism. However, as others (and we as parents) choose to bless my children, I want them to experience it to the nth degree. As someone who loves to give good gifts, I don’t want to deprive anyone of that right. It’s a good and joyful thing to have excited gift givers in your life. And I want them to experience those who are giving so that they see it modeled and become generous people. Getting rid of giving gifts is not a solution or a goal.
A healthy understanding of ownership, or stewardship, is the aim. But, as in so many things: what does that look like? Especially on Christmas morning.