Category: babies (Page 3 of 6)

Changing the world while wearing a baby sling

I’ll confess, I have a secret love affair with the most boring books of the Bible. People make jokes about falling asleep reading Leviticus, but I find it a fascinating revelation of the course of life when it was written. Find it no surprise, then, that my current reading is Deuteronomy. (Also, I got a new First-Century Study Bible for Christmas – “Explore Scripture in its Jewish and Early Christian Context” – which probably only furthers my complete geekery, but gives me joy nonetheless.)

The book of Deuteronomy is like a “final thoughts from Moses” letter – do not fear, don’t forget to turn of the coffee pot, do not fear, remember all the stuff God did for you, do not fear… you get the drift. He starts at the finish line – they’re standing on the edge of the desert, in the foothills of the land promised to them decades ago. And he tells the story about what happened when God said, “go!”

Now, I don’t believe this story, or any Biblical account, gives someone wearing a Christian badge the right or authority to start overthrowing cities and homes. These specific people were promised a specific place. They were following a cloud of God to get there. While I love a good analogy, we must be careful to know the limits of our rhetoric. I’m guessing that God did not specifically call you to go and take the really nice house in a neighboring subdivision. I’m just sayin.

So, back to the edge of the desert. God says, go! Actually, He says things like “do not be afraid, I will go with you and I will fight for you,” and encouraging things that you should cross-stitch into your pillow. However, as we know, such sayings sound good but often do little to cut the fear. So the people of Israel pretty much say, “What the hell, God? You brought us all the way over here to die?” You see, they had sent a scouting team and they came back with a 10/12 report that the people were giants and the Israelites had no hope.

To say God was a little angry would be an understatement. He “solemnly swore” (1:34),  which we all knows only happens just before an epic topple, that no one from the generation would ever see the good land. They were all heading back to the desert until a new group of Israelites – ones who would listen – grew to follow through on God’s instructions.

[box] “And the little ones that you said would be taken captive, your children who do not yet know good from bad – they will enter the land. I will give it to them and they will take possession of it. But as for you, turn around and set out toward the desert along the route to the Red Sea.” (Deut. 1:39-40)[/box]

This stopped me in my tracks. I know the argument because I argue it all the time. But what about the children?! I can’t just go off and DO all this stuff because I have little ones entrusted to me. Someone could hurt them. I have to think about their future. I want to offer them the best, and danger is not the best.

Image via CC by ‘‘ ِ Abdallah Al-Qahtani

Image via CC by ‘‘ ِ Abdallah Al-Qahtani

I’m a firm believer that the Bible doesn’t have random, meaningless writings in it. God answered these people with reference to the children they feared loosing because it was probably one of their grumblings against doing what God said to do. It was a scary command, one they weren’t convinced they could actually succeed, and to top it off, mama had an infant on her back and a toddler on her leg.

God gives a different version of good parenting than my natural inclinations. He says that we are to be faithful to him first. When we’re not faithful to follow God’s instructions, instead of protecting our children we are handing them our battles. In our desire to give them the good and right thing, we must, in faith, step out and do the hard thing. We must answer God’s call.

When this particular generation of Israelite parents declined God’s command, they also forfeited giving their children the opportunity to grow up in a land flowing with milk and honey. Because they were afraid to fight for it. Instead, they took these babes back to the desert to wander around. Their children buried their parents under sand and rock in the middle of nowhere. And these parents left their children without a legacy of faithfulness. Instead of telling their children, “we believed God, so we did it and now we live a blessed life,” they had to rewrite the narrative to say, “we didn’t believe God – please don’t make the same mistake. All eyes are on you, my child, to take these people into the place God promised because I didn’t.

Many of us want to raise children that love God and others. We want good, Christian kids who will turn into faithful, loving adults. That’s fantastic. But what will get us there is probably not charts and prizes for memorization of the Bible (though, that’s a nice thing to have scripture hidden in our hearts) but rather a front-row seat to watching parents believe God and live faithfully. The studies out there are clear: the number one influencer on a young person’s faith isn’t a stellar youth group. It’s parents who value their faith and live like it.

I’m not talking about curbing language because it’s “not Christian” or making a show of reading the Bible. I’m talking about the way in which you respond to God’s call on your life. When you take that thing, that I-have-to-do-this thing and turn it into something for the glory of God, and your children have a front row seat to watching it unfold, that leaves an impression. When mama has to leave for a small group or a meeting or an event and comes home glowing in a way that only means she experienced God – that sticks far more than mama staying home and saying that it’s important to be like Jesus.

If we don’t do the work God has set in front of us, the scary thing to which we are called, that which needs God’s presence or a complete failure is sure, than we will hand off that battle to our children. That’s not keeping them safe. That’s not giving them a good life. That’s handing down the wrong legacy.

God asks us to stop hiding behind our children, using them as a basis for our fears. Instead, we are to step into a faithful life that will give them an example of what it means to follow God.

 

 

**Obvious but I’ll state it anyway: Don’t do stuff that puts your kids in direct line of danger and just “hope for the best”, please. This is about how we use parenting as a shield for our fears. God isn’t into child sacrifice – just read the book. 

The circle of life

This is normal in most homes, right?

This is normal in most homes, right? (Also, I asked my children permission to publish this.)

Sunday mornings in our house equate to an extra cup of coffee for mom, dad cooking bacon and eggs, perhaps a show for the kids while we wake up slowly. Then the shenanigans: showering all the little ones and getting ready for church. So it shouldn’t strike me as odd that they started stripping down to race around the house. (Note for future homebuyers who want/have kids: buy a house with a loop. Ours can run through the living room, office and kitchen and make a full circle. This is paramount for entertainment purposes.)

As they were enjoying some Nudie Races, I hear one of them begin to get upset that she’s not in the front. Well, my dear, I tried to explain. It’s a circle. There’s really no front or back. It depends on your attitude if you’re ahead or behind the others.

Oh, friends. What if we lived like this? What if we believed that we’re all making another loop around the sun, instead of believing we must climb to the top first? What if we realized that “ahead” or “behind” can be a tad more relative than we like to believe?

Perhaps we could just approach life like a Sunday morning, plenty of time to run around, never knowing exactly who is in front or behind. Those of us who like to take it fast can run. Those who get winded easily will walk. We wave and giggle as someone passes by and perhaps see one another as inspiration to keep moving, not someone to catch.

When life sprouts

I don’t know how the Duggars do it. For every baby I’ve had, I get exponentially more weepy when I get news of my friends heading to the hospital or holding their sweet newborn for the first time. Just thinking about a photo I saw yesterday sends chills up my spine. Something about the emergence of new life gets to me. It gently grabs me in my core and shakes really hard until all the tears come out.

Last night I had to shy away from Facebook for a while because all the love toward friends of mine welcoming their baby girl got me shook up in a good way and she really didn’t need me gush-texting her at that particular moment. Then other friends made their way to the hospital to meet the newest member of their family after they had received word the birth mother in their adoption was induced. This several-year journey that they’ve allowed me to peek in on was culminating. I stayed up much too late thinking over and over in my head, “they’re going to be holding their baby any time now. They’re going to be holding their baby any time now.”

Seriously, my heart might just bust open and drip all over the floor.

Photo by Noelle Gillies used with permission via CC.

Photo by Noelle Gillies used with permission via CC.

I believe adoption to be one of the ways in which God works shalom into his world. This idea – peace, a returning to the right order, a sense that goodness pervades and wins the day – is central to what we mean when we talk about God at work. He can write love stories into tragedies. He grows life out of barrenness. In my mind, I see a big tree stump that appears dead but with a small sprouting bud beginning to emerge. I admire those that enter into the adoption process for their willingness to step into some unknowns with faith and love of and for someone they have never met.

If I may, I need to write from my gut, not my knowledge, for a moment. I’m out of my realm here, and I know it, but something is brewing and bubbling inside.

In the next several days – weeks! – I’ll be offering prayers for my friends and their new little families. They will awkwardly carry the baby carrier out to the car and wonder, “what in the world were we thinking?!” because that’s how all new parents leave the hospital. They will turn their heads to check on the sleeping one no less than a million times in the 10 minute drive. They might remember the empty fridge they left behind and stop for a bucket of chicken on the way home. That happened to us at least once. Then they’ll come home and go about the work of adjusting to life and wondering how this little person, who takes up so little space in the living room, can take up so much space in their hearts.

I will be offering other prayers, too. I’ll pray for another woman – probably young and probably mostly alone – who will sign papers to be released from the hospital. Hopefully her mother picks her up because a mother can help begin sorting the emotions that come from expelling a living being from your center. This girl will return to her home where there is no crib, no stacks of diapers waiting, and she, too, will go about the work of adjusting to life and wondering how this little person who takes up no space in her living room can take up so much space in her heart.

She will endure a process ahead of her. Her body will bleed for weeks. Her moods will shift and her eyes will leak tears as her breasts leak milk. The task of releasing your child into adoption is not a decision you endure for a singular moment of time.

Those who enter the adoption process, from any side, I believe operate with a great amount of faith and generosity. My friends, for agreeing to bring a person into their lives and homes, to provide for him or her. To make this person a son or daughter. This will be their child.

And this woman, who chose to endure the birth process, only to hand off the fruits to someone else. Such an act can only be described as hope. We don’t know her story and how she ended up in a maternity ward. Perhaps she didn’t want this pregnancy – or perhaps she did but realized she couldn’t provide the life that every parent wants for their precious ones. Whatever the case may be, she gave 10 months of her life, her body and a sense of her future to someone she has never met. No matter what we might believe about this woman’s story, I see a thread of selflessness woven through it.

I am outside my realm here. I know so little about this. I’ve experienced none of it. But I know someone who has. If you or someone you know is interested in the redemptive work of adoption, let me point you toward my friend Angela. Both her heart and her living room is filled with this sense of shalom. They have started an adoption agency, Choosing Hope Adoptions, to make adoption affordable for families who want to step into this faith-filled and hope-filled place. If you want to give to this cause and continue making adoptions possible, you can give online.

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