Of all breadlike confections, I probably miss a dish of biscuits and gravy the most (with the category of “sandwiches” a close second in line. Followed by the cookie segment). In my 30 years of eating experience, I’ve found the best B&G when eating at places with the dirtiest floors. Seriously. So when we had breakfast at a local lake dive (complete with a bug in the sugar jar), I couldn’t resist. It resulted in the anticipated “bread head”, complete with carb-induced sleep coma and yucky gut. It was an all-around poor (albeit delicious) decision on my part. 

I returned home determined to find a way to consume the classic dish in a way that doesn’t make me want to hibernate on a couch for 14 hours. This morning, Attempt #1 yielded fantastic results. 
First, the Gravy Intake Device. Biscuits are pretty much out of the question because they’re sure to make me feel like crap and the gluten free imitations are straight up BAD. Dry, weird texture in your mouth, often with an aftertaste. Perhaps if I hadn’t had a biscuit in a year it wouldn’t be so bad, but I’ve cheated just enough to know what I’m missing. 
I settled on the potato. Bob Evans himself often serves his B&G with a side of home fries and any good glutton knows to pour the extra gravy over those, too. So last night while prepping dinner, I sliced up some red potatoes, tossed with olive oil and a few spices (paprika, salt, pepper, garlic powder, seasoned salt) and baked at 430 for just under an hour. Honestly, after turning off the oven I forgot about them, so I left them in the cold oven overnight. To cover any legal liabilities, I don’t recommend it. But so far we’ve not encountered any food-borne illness. 
This morning I tossed the taters in the frying pan (I would prefer cast iron, but it was in use for the gravy, so non-stick sufficed) over medium-low with a bit more oil to fry. This is the secret to good hash brown potatoes, the double cook. I’ve heard you can cook them in the microwave as the pre-cook option, but I was already prepping dinner last night and I find this saves me time in the AM when I’m not always at the top of my game. 
On to the second obstacle: milk-free gravy. Paula Deen just puked a little in her mouth reading that. Let’s face it, the alternative milk selections weren’t made for cooking with large amounts. A splash here and there will suffice, but 2 cups is a lot of non-authentic milk taste to overcome. But I have the secret:
Vanilla-flavored, UNSWEETENED Almond Milk. 
And pepper. Lots of pepper. 
Also, a phone tutorial from KLR helps the outcome. It resulted in a creamy sausage gravy, perfectly flavored without a coconuty aftertaste that plagued previous attempts. Praise Jesus. 
H Boy ate 2 bowls (second on he didn’t even bother with potatoes). Once again, the Murphy’s Law of New Recipes meant that when experimenting, you never have enough. 
Visit me elsewhere: