Month: May 2012 (Page 3 of 4)

everything I learned about motherhood, I learned from my…

May 13, 2012 / Michele Minehart

Mentor, Judy M. She raised 2 of her own and 20+ on behalf of others who were adopting them, so she knows a thing or 2 about the chaos that comes from childhood. My favorite story: she wanted more than 2 kids; her husband Jack told her, “you don’t want more kids, you want more babies.” Their compromise: fostering. Win-win. Win.

Friends, Wendy and Toni. Watching them raise their broods of 3 and 5 very well adjusted, courteous, manner-filled, happy and loving teenagers inspired me to take notes. What’d they do? Loved them. Showed them their value. They didn’t give their kids everything they wanted, but gave them more than they asked for. And they loved their husbands.

BFF, KLR. She may not have children of her own, but she loves the little buggers and knows a thing or two about how to bring them up in the world, well-adjusted and healthy, thanks to her background in EI. She’s also the product of a pretty good mama herself (who else comes up with “painting rocks” with water?!)

Sister. She forged the way and provided me the commentary as she explored what it looks like to love your kids and provide them with the best in life. She held my hand through breastfeeding (ok, not literally), sleep schedules and how to put on a mai-tai.

Cousins. Since we’re learning it at the same time, it’s been a blessing to hear their victories and even their challenges. Knowing my daughter wasn’t the only one to scream like a cat before bed or that introducing solids was added work gave me peace of mind.

M-I-L. Since I married the product of her motherly work, I can say she did a fantastic job. And because I married her progeny, I can say that no matter how great you do, and how much you love Jesus, there’s no formula for producing perfection. This is a tough one for me to swallow (because I’m always wondering how I can do better for these littles), so she shows me the large amount of grace that the motherhood equation requires. Also, she’s demonstrated that though not perfect, love does produce thoughtful, generous, loving future-spouses. I (and my children!) can’t thank her enough!

Mother, of course. When you watch it day-in and day-out, you pick up a few things about what it means to be give and love and sacrifice. I also picked up on how important it is to foster great friendships and make time for a date out with your spouse. I watched her flourish as a person, beyond her identity as a mother. Because now that the kids are grown and gone, she continues to live a rich life.

the beauty rut known as 1998

May 9, 2012 / Michele Minehart

Yesterday, as I was painting Miss M’s 2-year-old toes for the first time, I realized I was introducing her into the world of beauty products. She already insists upon a powdered nose as I’m dusting my own, and she now bears her own Maui Mango, my go-to polish color by OPI. Later, through conversation with my stylist, I realized that what I was really doing was pulling Miss M down into the rut of cosmetics which I seem to have planted myself. For example:

A. I’ve been going to Maui Mango as a stand-by for at least 10 years

B. Clinique’s Glow Bronze has been my only lipcolor for 9 years

C. I’ve added a coat of Hint of Shimmering Sandstone on for 16 years. Yes. Another person could have been born and gained a driver’s license in the amount of time that I’ve worn the same lipgloss.

D. I still have a pair of jeans in my closet – that I break out when the laundry is high – that were purchased 9 years ago.

E. My favorite pair of sandals are a 2nd gen of the prototype bought 10 years ago this summer. So my average is better on footwear at a 5 year rate.

F. When I recently cleaned out my drawers, I tossed undies from 15 years ago. There is simply no excuse.

G. I’ve not had a haircut in 15 years that didn’t include layers of some sort. Small hair victory: there was a season in which I had some streaky highlights.

Clearly, I’m in need of being beautified to the standards of, oh, this decade. Century, in some cases. Here’s what I believed happened: I went to college and lived with some cute girls who beautified me. I graduated college happy with “my look.” For the next 10 years I continued to think, “if it’s not broke, don’t fix it.” Then I blinked and saw everyone wearing skinny jeans, making my bootcut the New Mom Jean. The blinking turned to crying. Smearing my Glow Bronze down my chin.

Now if someone can offer a solution that doesn’t require me spending a lot of money in order to not look like 2001, I’d appreciate it.

*This blog was in no way sponsored by What Not To Wear. But if the shoes still fit…

a prize every time

May 8, 2012 / Michele Minehart

For the past 2 weeks we’ve attended a church and both JJ and I have left happy; we get in the car and courageously ask the other, “so…. what did you think?” and wait for the shoe to drop. But, thankfully, we breathe a collective sigh of relief when the other says, “I really enjoyed it!”We’ve decided to keep going. (Unfortunately the summer is fast approaching, when our participation wavers greatly as we spend time at the lake. Each of us has a cross to bear.)

But what has been striking about this church is the free stuff. Now, I’m all about prizes and giveaways. I once shared that the free bagels awaiting me at the finish line prompted me to actually complete my second half marathon. I was one of those kids who walked around the fairgrounds collecting whatever my good elected officials willingly gave away.

However, this church has taken the gifting to a new level. H Boy got a t-shirt (which he’s insisted upon wearing, 3 sizes too big), we had a fresh baked loaf of bread, fake flowers, an entire information packet, and a beanie baby handed to us in person. The first week we got a kind note from the pastor. And a gift card for gas.

Yes, gas. Now, having sat through a multitude of staff meetings, I’m 97% positive I know how the decision to offer this gift was made:

Church Secretary: The hospitality team is running out of people willing to make pies for new visitors. They can’t seem to get the pie made in time and then dropped off because we don’t have their information and by the time the pie is ready and they have a name and address, it’s a very socially awkward situation.

Pastor: Well, can’t we buy a pie from somewhere here in town?

Staff person C: What if they’re diabetic? It’s not very nice to send them to a place they can’t eat anything.

Staff D: And then we’re just wasting money.

Pastor: Well, what about a gift card to somewhere else?

Church secretary: Perhaps Walmart? Everyone can find something at Walmart. And then they can pick out a nice gift themselves.

Staff person C: Walmart is of the devil.

Staff D: And what if they buy cigarettes. We don’t want to be enablers.

Pastor: Oh heavens. Well what does everyone need?

Church secretary: How about a gas card? It’s so expensive nowadays. And Speedway makes them redeemable for only gas.

Staff person C: How practical!

Staff D: And now, in other business. Moving the organ….

So, the practical side of me gave a bit of grace for this seemingly strange welcome gift.

But we got another letter this week from the pastor, with another gift card! This time DQ got the nod and we’re set to go for some Hot Eats and Cool Treats, or as the pastor mentioned in the card, take a friend for some fun. Which would be fun. If we had friends.

I really appreciate the lengths at which this church will go to help us feel welcome. I appreciate their hearts, so I don’t want to poke too much fun. I would venture to say the Visitor Gift might be the plight of all hospitality teams. But having married Mr. Hospitality himself, JJ raised his eyes a bit to the attempt. And we both are asking: at what point are we no longer new and the free stuff stops?

I think, in my nature of contemplating all things normal people tend to just write off, the reason it sits wrong is because a gift card – especially for something so practical – (sort of) misses the point of hospitality. We’re not looking for a free anything – we just want a church family. And in the church’s defense, it isn’t looking to just give stuff away. I think it’s just trying to figure out what hospitality and welcoming feels like now that society no longer lives a neighborly way of life. And the equation sits unbalanced. Until you’re actually looking for a church (something few to none of all pastors have done, I would guess), you don’t actually know how to walk in those shoes.

I wish I could offer something concrete rather than criticisms (because honestly, that’s not fair).

The DQ thing does sound like fun (though, to Staff Person A’s critique, we’re not eating a lot of dairy nowadays), and eating out in any form is a treat. You will always win this household with food.

But I miss the personal nature of hospitality. I think if a church – or a family – wants to be hospitable, they invite someone over for dinner. Not a grand showcase or event, but just “we’re going to put some burgers on the grill, would you like to join us?” And though we might be a bit too set in our ways to change plans, the offer will meet appreciative hearts. And JJ will probably convince me to throw caution to the wind and go. Because of the churches we’ve visited and connected to, that has been a common denominator to him feeling an allegiance to return – the overall genuine welcoming nature of the people already there.

Month: May 2012 (Page 3 of 4)

everything I learned about motherhood, I learned from my…

the beauty rut known as 1998

a prize every time

Subscribe By Email

Recent Posts

Read more, in your inbox

Tell your friends!