Month: June 2011 (Page 3 of 4)

the good life

My dad has always been a smart guy. And not just in the how-can-we-save-the-most-money-at-Wendy’s-by-ordering-one-combo-and-splitting-the-fries kind of way; he’s got book brains, too. And, as is the case, smart people attract smart people (which is why my friends all seem brilliant!). So, when dad spent his time at THE Ohio State University, he roomed with some smart fellas as well. Now, for those of you who have met Steve, you might not have guessed this. But Steve and Dan, his roomies for 4 years, went on to very successful business careers with big companies. Dad says, “they did alright for themselves.” 

Dad, on the other hand, returned to the farm, sowing beans and selling a few houses. No big city skyscrapers or relocation to packages for him. He did well, if you ask me, but he definately didn’t pick a career that required a large wardrobe of suits. I’m not sure of his actual feelings on his life, but I’d have to guess that at some point in his life, he asked himself if he missed out on something by returning home to the simple Hardin County life. I’ve wondered, in their annual roommate reunions, if dad had any jealousy over their ability to pick a classy wine or talk about their multiple (seasonal) houses and vacation packages to Vail. 

Then dad told me of a recent trip to see Dan at their “winter home” in Florida. Apparently Dan has quite the nifty fishing boat, with all kinds of depth- and fish-finding gadgets, so he has taken up the hobby and spends several days out on the water with his own father. So Dan took dad for a ride and they even caught a few on a recent trip (they also brought them home and ate them and dad was quite impressed with the results). 

While out on the boat, dad complimented Dan on how his life ended up; he told Dan, “I hope you realize just how lucky you have it.” Dan looked around the gadget-y boat and back to the luxury home and agreed, “You know, it is pretty good.” But dad explained, “The fact that you get to come out here with your dad and fish whenever you want. I hope you know just how lucky you are. I’d give anything to be able to spend that kind of time with my dad again.” 

And that’s when I knew my dad really did live the life he wanted. I’m sure the paycheck could’ve been bigger with a corporate finance career, but my dad knew that true riches were found in a man’s home. And he has blessed many of us with a much richer life with his humor, wisdom and love. 

This father’s day I’m going to spend it out on the boat with my father. We probably won’t be fishing – though we may go to a restaurant that serves fish. Even if he can’t spend that time with his father, I know that I can spend time with mine. And so I will. Not just on Fathers day, but as often as possible.


(Originally written last year on Fathers Day. Still true.) 

the farmer and his cow

We bought a family cow. Not Bessie, my hypothetical cow that I tell Husband we will be purchasing once H is old enough to milk her daily (she wears a hypothetical bell around her neck as well and wonders in the pasture of our hypothetical country estate). No, this is a different cow and will require a lot less work than Bessie as this cow will be lacking moving appendages and the ability to… well, remain living. 

For the past few summers we’ve purchased freezer beef with our in-laws and have appreciated the economic advantage as well as the selection of meat readily available in the freezer (we’ve upgraded to a garage freezer AND a fridge/freezer combo). However, with all my nutty reading and the like, we wanted the next cow to be entirely grass fed (see earlier posts on why I don’t believe corn and soy are real food). For major carnivores, think of it this way: if we’re eating so much meat, we’re consuming less veggies. So, we just figure we can let the cow do it for us. Grass fed cow = meat AND veggies. Brilliant. (No, that’s not really the reasoning, but if I started in on that topic, I’ll never finish the post by the time the kids wake up from naps). 
So, I called the most resourceful people I know. My parents. (Does everyone’s parents always “know someone” or is it just mine?) “We’d like to find a cow,” I said. As luck has it, they decided they’d share in part of the beef. 
So my dad walked into the local butcher shop and said, “we’d like to buy 1500 pounds of your best grass-fed beef.” Ok, I’m sure that’s not the exact phrase he used, but he did stop by Mt. Victory Meats and explained our beefy desires to the owner. So, the owner called a farmer. The farmer sold us a cow. The butcher will process the cow. And we will consume it, starting sometime around mid-July (you know, nothing welcomes home a baby like a freezer full of meat). 
The process of buying meat was absurdly simple and completely over-complicated all at the same time. Because we’re so used to the convenience of grocery shopping our meat on a weekly basis, and simply consuming whatever is offered without question of where the animal came from or how it was raised – it was a bit boggling to think of these considerations. But it was also so simple. I mean, really – you need meat? Call the butcher. He works with the farmer. 
We are paying a little bit more of a price than the last batch of beef we bought; when you per-pound it and take into consideration the ground beef and the steaks and roasts, it’s not bad of a price – still cheaper than your Whole Foods shelves, but probably a tad more than Meijer. However, after doing my newest reading in Radical Homemakers, I’m excited to know how much more power our dollars will have for both our farmer and our butcher (isn’t it 3x the dollar power? I’ve seen the stat numerous times in numerous places). We’re contributing to the livelihood of more than our own family by keeping purchases local. 
The same goes for the $14 [huge] bucket of strawberries I brought home from our Suter’s barn down the road. Sure, they’re pricier than the faux-berries that Meijer has to offer, but keeping the Suter family in business also ensures I can get my zucchini and cucumber later this season (since I didn’t plant any). 
The local farm, if you ask me, is stuck between a rock and a hard place of mega-farming and super Agribusiness. How do they keep prices low enough on their produce to compete with the 3 major corporations that control 97% of our food supply? (That figure was slightly made up, but it’s close. I can site Radical Homemakers as a source, but I’m not willing to walk upstairs and give you specifics. Read the book yourself and be awed). And if the farmers offer that price, how do they make a living? They’d have to produce far more. But then we begin wading into the world of sustainability and labor practices. 
The long and the short of it, for our family as of late, is we simply expect to pay a bit more for good, real and local food. Yes, I do know that berries are 2/$3 at the supermarket. But you get what you pay for. And, someone else pays for what you get (I’m sure the picker of the supermarket berries didn’t get paid the same wage as the Pandora teenager that told me who to write the check to). 
But, as you may be asking… how can you afford to pay more for food? Well, to put it simply, we pay less for other stuff. We don’t eat out often. Our kids don’t get new toys upon trips to the store. And we refuse to buy the “cheap” food altogether, which allows more room in the food budget for real stuff (ok, Husband has successfully lobbied for tortilla chips on a regular basis and crackers semi-regularly. And he sneaks a bag of *bleck* beef jerky every time he buys the dog food. So don’t hunt through my kitchen and call me a hypocrite or a bad Amish). If you don’t buy the Cheetos or Cheez-its or Lean Cuisines then that’s money saved, even if the price tag wants to sell you otherwise. 
Many other issues arise when making the break from the cheap food cycle – time to prepare it for sure, and, well, how many ways can you cook a cow anyways?. Those will have to await a later post; for now I say they’re justified questions that require lifestyle change. It’s one that I’m excited about making, but doesn’t exactly make everyone skitter with glee. Then again, I like to run long distances and have babies without drugs and do other things that seem like torment to others. I’m weird. I’ll own that. 
All of this to say, “thanks Mt. Victory Meats and Mr. Local Farmer!” Our freezer is getting bare and we’re excited to know it’ll be filled soon. 

florida has been busy

Per Facebook, my primary news source, the state of Florida has been passing several controversial laws. The first was a drug testing for those applying for welfare. I think I agree, but I’d like to read the opposing position first. The second puts parents to a passing or failing grade on the participation level of their children. I read it most recently on a guest blog for The Pioneer Woman. I had to stop halfway through the comments section, there was just so much to absorb. 

The irony is that I was just discussing this issue with my educator husband and mother-in-law the other night. I hear from all my educator friends how parental involvement really is necessary, and I totally agree. My devil’s advocate question the other night was, “so exactly what do I need to do as a parent to participate in their education?” Pretending to be a working mom with a 50-hour/week schedule, I asked, “so I need to take part of my 2 weeks annual vacation time to attend the Halloween party? That’s what’s expected of me?” (interestingly enough, the FL mandates parents offer at least 3 hours each semester for volunteer classroom activities). 
There’s so much I don’t know about this issue, but the few things I have decided: a) you can’t legislate good parenting (much like most of morality). b) everyone has a stake and everyone is responsible. Parents, teachers and students. 
I will probably most strongly side with the voice that says that, especially as the student advances in age, the responsibility ultimately lies within the kid. I’ve only been at this parenting thing for 2 years now, but I believe strongly that even the best parent can’t create a perfect kid. Kids, in the essence of their nature, will do things contrary to their parents, and teachers’, wishes and instruction. 
We won’t live in a perfect world any time in the near future, but I’d be curious to know from educators, parents and even students, what the perfect world would look like? What do they need from the other parties to do their best in their role? What expectations should they own? 
I think parents are responsible for making sure their kids are able to fully participate in the educational opportunities in front of them. They should make sure they get their kids to school, that they’re fed and rested so they can focus on what the teacher is offering. I think it should be understood that parents participate in activities with their children that contribute to education: reading, going over spelling words, asking questions about the material covered and looking for ways to reinforce concepts through conversation and general life events. I also think parents should take a proactive, rather than a reactive, role in partnering with teachers. Perhaps “no news is good news” isn’t the best approach; perhaps conferences aren’t just for kids exemplifying warning signs. If we’re serious about individualized instruction, conferences are an opportunity for parents and teachers to decide what next steps they both can offer the student moving forward as way to take their learning experiences to the next level. Maybe “your child is doing great” isn’t the best conference; instead a parent can come with questions about how to take it to the next level and the teacher can offer hands-on, practical suggestions.  
I think students are responsible for making the efforts to learn and participate to their best ability. If homework is age-appropriate, then they should be responsible for completing it (which may mean parents might have to help them develop the habit of making sure it is complete or by helping them with difficult problems). I think students should have to live with the naturally-occurring results of their decisions (and this can happen even at a younger age. It’s not about punishment, but about consequences). 
And what if, instead of looking for reasons (and in some cases, excuses) behind a student’s failure, we spend equal effort trying to find the best way to help meet their needs while still requiring the student to fully participate to the best of his/her ability?
Even being married to a teacher, the hardest part of the equation I have with are the expectations of the teacher. I mean, I have a good idea of what makes a good teacher from a student’s perspective and what helps me learn. But what, as a parent, am I looking for? Is it anything different than being a good teacher from a student’s perspective? 
So those are my thoughts. I don’t think the Florida law will really affect any change in terms of students’ success. I think it’s nice the state is trying to put a little push behind the teachers’ cry for partnership. But ultimately, if their child’s wellbeing and education isn’t enough to keep parents involved, will a bad grade? 
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