Month: May 2011 (Page 3 of 4)

• Made it through 2 doctors appointments this morning with both kiddos in tow, sanity 80% intact when we returned.
• Baked a batch of blueberry muffins to keep on hand (in the freezer) while the kids played.
• Grilled a fantastic steak and asparagus dinner.
• 2/$4 strawberries in hot weather means an inaugural Grandma Mary Shortcake. 
• Batch of sun tea brewed and in the fridge.
• An evening walk with the kids serenading me in song. (Not a single real word was used, but it was still beautiful). 
• Afternoon at the park with friends.
• Very few work emails in the inbox for the day.
• Posted the rental ad today and already had several calls/emails. We might just get that place rented. 
• 3 loads of laundry done, 2 of them even put away in the drawers.
• TV never even powered on today.
• H’s prayers included the neighbor boy, C, and bubbles (the evening activity). These are becoming the highlight of my day. Cousin J is always the first person mentioned, which is also cute. 
• End of the day shower never felt so good. I even shaved my legs. The entire leg. 
• Husband is off to play some softball, which makes him very happy. The game starts after 9 which makes me happy (he was around for bath and bedtime). 

Not-so-helpful [it’s already a long 9 months of anticipation]:

• “Wow, you don’t look like you have that much longer”
• “How old is your little girl?”
• “And how old is he?”
• “You’re going to have your hands full!”
• “Do you know how that happens?”
• “And will you be done after this one?”

Before KLR got married, a friend gave her a bit of advice. “Never do anything in the first year that you don’t want to be doing in 10 years from now.” 

(Full disclosure: this may not be the exact quote. The friend may have used different time frames. This is just what I recall the advice being. I know, a real writer would verify with the source. This, my friends, is the beauty of blogging). 

Now, I’m all for going “above and beyond” – both at work and to make Husband happy. I’m glad to do those little things that make a difference. But there’s something to be said for knowing when to give it full-throttle vs. having to live full throttle. Very few teams can full-court press for an entire game, let alone can a player do it solo. 

Something in our culture is robbing us from the enjoyment of a strong, simple pace. Doing good, reliable work on a consistent basis. We’re encouraged to sprint the entire race, even if we’re participating in a marathon (let’s see… can I fit another sports analogy into this post?). We have to be superstars in every facet of life, satisfied with nothing but the absolute best. Always.  

Even the word mediocrity holds a negative undertone. I half-joke when I use it with friends at work because  the point isn’t how little work can I get away with? but rather, what pace and expectation do I want to set? I think we can do a superb job living up to the expectations and requirements of our roles of employee, wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend when the goal isn’t perfection but consistency. I think those who depend on us, deep down don’t expect perfection but our own obsession with it keeps us from appreciating the honest efforts and the steady results. 

I’d much rather have a simple meal from the grill 6 nights a week than a gourmet production once a month (look! Food, not sports this time!). So, perhaps we ought to start giving ourselves the freedom to sit down and enjoy the fruits of our  simple, consistent, albeit imperfect at times, efforts.  

This year I feel like the “holiday” has exploded. Maybe it’s where I find myself – Babble comes up in my FB feed, which gears itself to moms of all types, and I’m friends with many mothers, so now it’s a part of conversation. Or maybe we Americans just know how to commercialize anything.
Nonetheless, a day usually composed of flowers, luncheons and I Love You’s has been elongated into a week’s worth of preparation and festivities. But that hasn’t helped me celebrate the day any better, no matter what the Today Show suggests.  

My mothers day perspective has changed over the years, largely in part to new perspective: I have friends who feel like perhaps they have less of a reason to celebrate the second Sunday in May. Those that have lost their mothers. Those whose mothers chose to walk away. Those who anticipate with great hopefulness being a mother and struggle each month with the disappointment that it will be that much longer (and sometimes this is true even after they’ve been a mother once – and the disappointment is still there, and still valid). There are those who “would’ve been” mothers and they count back the years to the difficult decision they made. All of these things remind me that motherhood – and mother-having – is not a right or a guarantee, but a gift. There is no Motherhood Patrol to police the world and make sure all is fair; so those that are blessed must uphold the right place of gratefulness for all that has been donned our way in terms of motherhood.
I’m grateful for a time each year that I can be appreciative of the wonderful woman in my life who has loved and cared for me, answered my calls at the least convenient moment and set a wonderful example of the way I hope to be present in the lives of my children. I’m grateful for the woman she is and the time I continue to have with her.  I’m not sure I’d be so introspective of my appreciation if I didn’t realize just how hard the day could be, and continues to be for many women. I hope that a luncheon and a pot of flowers (though thoughtfully selected) will make the message known: I have an idea of what my world would be like without, and I don’t like it. I don’t just need, but I want the continuing presence in my life. We don’t always get what we want; but today, I realize that I do.
I love you, mom!