Month: May 2010 (Page 3 of 3)

Recently I stumbled upon an article at one of my favorite websites, Babble.com, about how to maintain your hipness after you enter the world of motherhood. Anyone who has seen me in the past 5 years knows that my hip-factor is below sub-par; I once told a friend that I planned my entire wardrobe around shoes: being able to wear my New Balance, that is. However, that being said, I do feel smug enough (or enough of a smarty pants) to challenge the author to a better “5 ways” than what she offered as advice. So here’s my go at it.

How to be a stylish mom

1. Always wear at least one thing you’ve purchased in the last 6 months. Face it, now that kids are in the mix, the funds are a bit… drier… and when it comes down to new shoes for you or that a.d.o.r.a.b.l.e. dress for a friend’s wedding, the kids almost always win. And if you’re like me, you were already wearing plain gap T’s from 1998, so relying upon the archives isn’t really a guaranteed upgrade. So, when mom gives you a giftcard for your birthday, resist the impulse to walk through the kids section and instead invest in those amazingly comfortable but uncharacteristically “in” shoes that you stumble upon. 

2. Mimic your idols. Find at least one fashionable friend (or cousin, if that’s the case) that you can ooh and ahhh over her finds. Though you may not replicate to the scale of such a diva, it at least serves as inspiration. College girls are another good source of material. I do not advocate my rival author’s advice of borrowing from a 13-year-old daughter because, well… I don’t want to look like a 13-year-old girl. Perky 24 year old? Perhaps. But nothing about the age of 13 says “child bearing hips” and renders all fashion advice ineffective.

3. Simplify. I’m lucky if I can make sure my shoes match each other, let alone the belt, necklace and scarf. So find one thing and do it well. I had a brown scarf that mixed well with my brown maternity sweater and I found myself wearing it anytime I needed to look “nice.” And 98% of the time the complements flowed. But too much bling just says “I’m trying to hard to cover up the fact that I’m old and a mom now”.

4. When you leave the house, put on pants with a zipper. REALLY. Because when you start to let yourself go, you can justify anything (I believe the only exemptions for this rule might be a trip to the gym. But if you’re a rule-driven person, there’s nothing wrong with sticking with it and changing into workout clothes once you get there). We all know our internal tendencies to slide on the jammie pants as soon as the front door shuts, no matter if it’s only 3 pm (even my dad admitted to this!). But when you make a trip out – even a walk around the block – make the effort for at least a denim upgrade from your comfy pants. If you really don’t want to feel constrained, a good back door is the cute, but elastic-waisted, skirt.

5. Know what true beauty is. When you expect to wear a hip outfit, immaculate makeup and a put-together hair style, you might just be setting yourself up for failure. But dressing for the public eye with at least a slick of lip gloss and pulling the greasy strands off your face does wonders for confidence. Let that “glow” of motherhood do the work for you. This is really just about the attempt to enhance your natural beauty – going too far will just cover up what God created and has already called “good.”

**I have some pretty hip friends… I’d be curious to know what rules they live by to maintain their hip-factor.

If there seems to be a singular trait that Little Lady has inherited from her mama, it’s a frustration from those who try too hard. For the past 2 nights we’ve had an evening spurt of her being tired and us holding her, trying to get her to sleep. Finally husband just put her down in the basket and, amazingly enough, she just falls right to sleep. We are learning that all the jostling and bouncing and holding and patting may just be the thing that is keeping her from the goal: sleep.

The try-too-hard is one of my biggest pet peeves, right up there with Times New Roman and Chips in the Ice Cream (*although Graeter’s chips have made me reconsider such blanket statements. But they’re not true chips. They’re morsels of fudgey goodness). Sadly enough, I find TTH offenders in all walks of life, both individually and corporately.

Husband and I were just reflecting on one such offender the other day, who is rather close to us. She’s a wonderful woman, and when she acts very natural and herself, she’s quite enjoyable. However, the TTH streak in her when she’s around friends or if she’s trying to show off is more than my eyes can handle and they typically start rolling toward the sky in exasperation. She just wants to be funny and cool, but it typically comes out mean and bitey. This probably raises my blood pressure because I know my own tendencies to be the same way. Humph.

Unfortunately the TTH phenomenon isn’t isolated to individuals; it perpetuates itself in groups as well. Thanks to a journey toward “relevance” there are several church groups who fall into this trap. While good intentioned attempts to make God and spirituality mean something for everyday life, sometimes these efforts fall into the “can’t see the forest through the trees” category. It gives me the feeling similar to that of that fuzzy feeling my teeth get after eating too much candy and I have the sudden need to brush my teeth.

It can have the same effect as our attempts to hold the Little Lady before bed. We try and try so hard to get people to “see the relevance” and all the jostling and patting and loving that we do keeps them from experiencing what they’re truly after. Sometimes we just need to offer a few tools – a soft bed, perhaps a binky at times to soothe, and them let them work through the experience. No need to create an experience for them or put on a show – just invite them to find what it is they’re looking for.

The following questions may or may not a response of a flood of tears or a quick punch to the neck.

1. “How much sleep are getting?” she’s a newborn. they don’t sleep more than 3-4 hours at a time. YOU do the math. But guess what?! I KNEW this since I’ve already had one. Thank you anyways for telling me that I look exhausted.

2. “How’s JJ’s job search going?” I’ll answer question with question, Jesus-style. Have you looked for a job in the past 2 years? Yeah. Like that. Thanks anyways for reminding me of the uncertainty of our next year.

3. “When are you going back to work?” This question made the list only because of it’s direct correlation to #2.

4. “How much does she weigh?” I’m not sure if you’re calling my kid fat or skinny. And I’m not sure of its relevance to her cuteness factor, either. I think this was one of those questions that came about when people generally just didn’t know what to ask about babies.

5. “Your other one is only 18 months?” Yes. We like to live on the edge. We’re soooo crazy like that.

**Sorry for the extreme sarcasm. It’s one of those days. Blame the lady at JC Penneys with not enough work to do.