Michele Minehart

words & yoga

Month: November 2009 (page 1 of 3)

who’d a thought?

i have thoughts to share but don’t know if this is the place to express. and here, i thought that was what blogging was all about. but alas, no. some things are better left stuffed inside, right K? 🙂

because i was a thanksgiving slacker, a brief overview of what i’m thankful for:
1. that my husband is also such a wonderful father.
2. for others that love tradition
3. that we have so many people that we enjoy spending time with that we have to have multiple thanksgivings. that’s a lot to be thankful for.
4. that my grandma keeps making the world’s best noodles.
5. that so many people love my kid. (that sounds… narcissistic? maybe “that my child will grow up knowing he is loved by many people”? hopefully people know what i’m getting at)
6. my grandma mary’s pie crust recipe
7. a family so fun that my husband spends time with them by choice
8. very, very giving parents
9. those little green binkies
10. pumpkin spice creamer. tis the season.

it’s been a whirlwind of a week and it continues forth through the weekend. which means i need to get my hiney into bed if i want to survive it.

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average vs. normal

when you go to the doctor for the first “i’m pregnant” trip, they load you up will all kinds of stuff – lists of medicine to avoid, cheaply made diaper bags advertising formula and an armload of magazines telling you everything you should worry about when becoming a parent – and which products to buy so that you can put your mind at ease. those magazines (“i read them for the ads!”) made their way to the bathroom and i stumbled upon an article that roused up thoughts.

the article was about having a preschool teacher as a resource for knowing if everything is on track with your kids. the thought that they see lots of kids and know what “normal” 3-year-old handwriting is “neat” or not. i’m all for such resources – i pick the brains of my kindergarten teacher and early intervention friends all the time.

but i come at it from the flip side. with H’s hearing loss we get analyzed and charted and developmentally screened all. the. time. last tuesday and wednesday we were asked the same developmental questions 3 times by different coordinators. now, they’re just doing the job. it’s all state funded programming and the state wants to know that they’re doing something worthwhile when they stop for a visit – i get it, it’s cool. the challenge is, however, knowing the difference between the average and what is “normal”.

it’s been explained to me that normal is actually quite large. and rarely is someone “average”. i think we should buy our first clue in all of this with the existance of a due date for pregnancy. it is normal to go 40 weeks before giving birth. “average” some would say. so we are each given a magical day when we should expect a little bundle of joy. however, someone did the math, and that law of average is one of the worst maths out there – it’s only, what? 3% of women that actually give birth on their due date? so the other 97% aren’t normal?

i think it’s all in our humanly (possibly more specifically american, but i need to perseverate on that further) nature to want to quantify things down to the exact detail. i understand that we want to have a general ballpark idea of what to expect, so that we can identify “not normal” when it appears. these numbers and tickings and readings are what helped H get his hearing loss identified at a young age, so there’s lots of room for thankfulness for it.

but is it worth the energy to worry away because the poor kid is waving hi but not saying “uh oh”? if he doesn’t have the sippy mastered by 8 months old, will the chance at a college education dissipatate into thin air? and what if, at 9 months, there’s still a lot of waking up at night? good bye athletic scholarship packge.

there are a lot of high strung parents in the world, but i’m prone to wonder, do we really have to ask why? we’ve been given benchmarks of averages that are so narrow and concise. but we should stop and breathe. the wide world of normal has lots of room for our kids to play. we might not hit a benchmark of 4 months, 2 weeks and 5 days, but our 6 month successes can still be right on track to a very healthy development. someone needs to hang THAT sign outside of the ped’s office.

really, it’s about the larger picture. if one of these targets isn’t met, is it doom? no. but if all of them in a singular catagory show needed signs of improvement, might we seek out some help? sure. besides, if every kid took their first steps on their birthday, why write it down in the baby book? why mark it as something special? why not just say, “well, that’s what he’s supposed to do” and then send him off to training for memorizing body parts or mimicing animal sounds?

ah, baby boot camp. just another great idea waiting to make its way into those prenatal magazines.

i’m glad i have such good, “normal” friends to walk me through this.

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today was brought to you by the letter “P”

if there were a list of descriptive words about me (and i’m sure someone put one together…), no where on the list would be the word “professional.” i’m just not. i’ve been living in “professional world” for 2.5 years now and i still giggle when i hear people talk. no joke.

i think it makes me laugh because it’s so outside of my context. i’ve done more than my share of making fun of church-y words (sometimes while the guy was still praying). i’ve had an ongoing list of words i can’t stand in that context: fellowship being the top, followed up by conversation, visitors, intentional, and committee meeting. there are more, i just can’t think of them. oh, and “lock in” gives me a facial tick when i hear the word mentioned.

but now that i’ve been in the world of reporting and feedback, the vocabulary still strikes me as a hoot. today could’ve been a drinking game with the word “perspective”. i had no idea it had so many entries in the dictionary! i also find that we do a lot of circling back, or coming full circle in the business world, along with some “reaching out” “following up” and “coaching” (fakespeak for “you screwed it up again”). oh, and we “appreciate” EVERYthing.

I don’t mean to make fun of people who have such a vernacular. i’m sure it doesn’t even strike their funny bones – it’s just what it is. what else do you do to a client but “reach out” (my initial word was “call” but hey, it’s just me)? i’m sure that to people who find professional-speak normal, i’m just talking like an uncivilized galoot.

**this post sat over night. friday, nov. 20 was actually brought to you by the letter P. today was brought to you by the letter S.

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