question of the day: why is fun so much work?

i was chatting with a pal who recently took her boyfriend on quite the adventure. however, in wanting him to enjoy it SOOO much, she actually made him really angry and the day was a bit spoiled (well, only in the AM. fortunately they both “got over it”). but as the story was retold, it became quite clear – at the times we want most to have so much fun, it becomes work, stressful, almost a burden.

consider vacations. birthday parties. tailgating. weekend trips to the lake. all of these things intended for good but the devil of details gets in there and uses them for harm (mostly in the sense of destroying relational moments).

even well-meaning people wanting the best for others have a tendency to ruin good things. married people who just really want a friend to experience the joy of sharing life with someone gete a bit pushy (i may or may not be guilty of such actions while enduring the anticipation. please forgive me dave). or new parents, or soon-to-be grandparents, in the excitement of a new baby arriving quite possibly chatter and pester a bit too much in that waiting period (once again, probably guilty. please forgive me jill).

it’s almost like reverse envy. you wanting something – a feeling of joy – sooo much for someone else that it causes you to loose sight of the goal. you want someone to feel joy and in trying to bring it to them you cause problems and thus no joy. horrible cycle. i’m not sure why, but a visual of a mud pie comes to mind. our attempts are mud in comparison to the real thing.

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