Michele Minehart

words

Page 147 of 312

It’s only noon?

August 15, 2012 /

I think I’ll take the rest of the day off, as I’ve squeezed enough into my morning hours. 

  • Morning reading and reflecting resulted in a blog in draft. Thoughts forthcoming. 
  • Pancakes for breakfast (thanks for the recipe, Shannon! Kids devoured them! Best consistency I’ve found so far.)
  • All 3 kids dressed and beds made, teeth brushed. They’re starting to catch on to the pattern… 
  • Play time outside with bikes and pushing the baby cart while I arranged for 2 more showings today when JJ is working on the rental house
  • 2 loads of sheets and towels through the wash. Diapers to soak this evening. 
  • Started in on preserving some tomato soup from our bounty. With homemade bone broth that simmered all day yesterday. And basil from the in-law’s garden. And garlic from my garden. This is 100% local soup, I tell you. **Update: I only blew up 2 jars. No idea how. but the rest is safe. So while this may seem like a braggy post, I assure you there are hiccups. 
  • Kids played agreeably, for the most part, in the living room with their brooms “paddling their boats”  (couches), managing not to poke out a single eye or put a hole in my wall. I’m sure this will change eventually. 
  • Put dinner in progress – Greek Nachos again, so the tzatziki sauce needs to ruminate. Don’t worry, I salted the cukes and drained the yogurt yesterday. Chicken currently thawing. 
  • When I realized we had nothing to go with our ham for lunch, I went out to the garden and trimmed off some broccoli, tossed it with some oil and roasted it. 
  • Can I share the joy of watching all 3 children devour broccoli? Granted, they mimicked their father by first sticking it up their nose. But it eventually made its way to their mouths and Miss M even asked for seconds 
  • After lunch the bigs raced for their rain boots (on this beautiful sunny day) so they could go out back and play on the swing set.
  • The baby is playing with the doll house and piling the clean laundry on the floor as we speak. 
On deck: making zucchini muffins for breakfast on the go this fall, possibly some reading or writing or project imagining. If JJ gets home early enough, I’ll squeeze in a run and log this day into the history books. 

Functional Friday: Digital laugher

August 10, 2012 /

A recent FB thread inspired me to remark upon usage of non-words, as I regularly mock people who use them improperly. I thought perhaps by logging The Rules, we’d be able to curb offenses. So, in our efforts to share with conversational partners that they are, indeed, hilarious, I’ve composed a little how-to of digital expressions of laughter. 

I heard that. You just asked how I came to know The Rules of Digital Laughter. It’s quite simple. This is how I do it. And thus, everyone should. 
The LOL: The primary form of digital laughter comes as the LOL. This means I just laughed out loud. (Technically, our little diddy is inaccurate: it’s aloud. Using non-words as shorthand for a grammatically incorrect phrase just heightens the absurdity). 
Proper function of the LOL: informing your conversational partner that you just laughed out loud aloud. 
Common improper use: a filler, like you would verbally with “uh” or “and” or “mmm”. It indicates that the phrase was heard or the last message was received, but with improper use it lacks the significance of how funny the other person actually was. Speaking as a hilarious person, I’m on a mission to abolish this practice of the filler LOL. To coach on improper use, I tell people, “Literal LOL” to signify that I literally* laughed aloud.  Over time you can remove the use of literal as they understand your mastery of the English non-language.
And why should the filler LOL be eliminated? Because who wants a text that only says, “LOL”? It’s like the Gratuitous Thank You of the business world. An email, empty, except a thoughtless “thank you” serving to tell me that you’ve acknowledged the existence of my action or previous email. Ridiculous. The Gratuitous Thank You is another drain on society.
So, how does one communicate enjoyment of a comment without putting it on the status of the LOL? A few suggestions:
Haha. Quick and simple. It means “I caught that joke”
HA! The blurt approach. Much like a Bah! but quicker. It might be translated as “Please hand me a towel to wipe the coffee from my monitor.”
Hehehe. A polite chuckle of the non-literal variety. 
Depending on your laugher style, there could be further options. Are you a cackeler? Or whooper? Then perhaps you can translate that into your digital laughter response. Let us hear your voice. My cousin Kimmy should drop LOL altogether for “aaaaaahhhhahahahaha hahahaha ahahah.” She would type that in a red font, as red always translates well into high-pitched squeals. 
ROFL and LMAO/LMBO/LMAO? These are just silly. No one above the age of 17 should use them. We’re adults. We don’t need code. No one will tell your mommy if you found the joke funny. And besides, the un-literal use goes beyond the LOL. Rarely do I see an ROFL remarking on something of true hilarity. 
*This would lead to a lesson on the proper use of the word literal. This means actually, in real life, not an exaggeration. You do not literally “see red”. Rule #1, never use the word “literal” with metaphor or simile. 

Allow me to solve the world’s problems with a single purchase (hint: it’s not a chicken sandwich)

August 7, 2012 /

One might think that I lack opinion in the Chik-fil-a debacle of 2012. But, really, when has that ever happened? No, I’ve simply been gathering thoughts at the pace of a turtle, a bit here and there, mostly because I’ve been at the lake so long that I’m unable to move at my usual breakneck speed. But my laking time is what brought about solutions, henceforth where we go. 

I think the entire debate of chicken sandwiches and opinions on gay marriage might be water under the bridge if people would just buy more hammocks. Well, not just buy more hammocks. Like any product, you’d have to use it, too. 
It’s simple, really. Who can get into a heated debate from a hammock? With your body floating weightlessly from the trees, a light breeze to keep you slightly moving… and when attached at the correct angle, like JJ perfected, your neck never cramps while you read. Delightful, I tell you. 
And from a hammock, things like chicken sandwiches and exerting our rights to tell someone else who to marry just seem silly. Silly. 
It’s about posturing. I once read that a couple resolved to only argue while nude. While JJ and I didn’t adopt this approach, I like what would seem to bring about. Who can really scream with things jiggling about, parts of you flailing that you typically keep tucked in? And issues like how to scoop coffee into the coffeepot (true story) seem outright obnoxious when you’re naked. I mean, your buns are bare and you’re talking about $14? How exactly do you stand in such an argument? Do you try to cover up? Do you strut like a rooster? Pose like the Thinking Man statue or the Heisman trophy? 
A naked posture while arguing helps bring about quicker resolution because you’re faced with how silly it all is. (At what point do you say, “okay, clearly we’re not agreeing. Take off your clothes.”?) Similarly, a hammock-induced stance also helps perspective. A hammock is a natural inducer of peace and tranquility. You do not find hammocks at amusement parks or 4-year-old’s birthday parties. Or Van Halen concerts. Or middle school lock-ins. 
So, while I respect the rights of others to have opinions on issues such as “traditional marriage” and I respect the rights of others to disagree with them, and I respect the rights of more groups to rally around someone with an opinion and eat chicken – or refuse to eat chicken – on the same day, I still find it a bit silly. Lay in a hammock and see if any of that makes sense. 
It’s hard for panties to be bunched in a hammock. It’s about posture. Relax and live peacefully, seeking to do what’s right with everyone as much as you can.** Have an opinion, but realize that an opinion won’t change anything. 
Laying in a hammock, enjoying edifying and purposeful conversation? Seeking to learn what it means to love? That changes things. 
It changes me. 
It changes my heart. My attitude. My pride. My constant need to be right. 
We have to start there. We won’t change anything – people, the world, the power of sin, the definition of sin – if we don’t start with changing our own posture. 
The hammock industry will thank me for this someday. 
**Yes, that was an awful attempt at paraphrasing a scripture that I’m too lazy to look up right now. But I’m sure it’s Biblical. I’d guess that Paul wrote it. 
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