Michele Minehart

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A live nativity

December 10, 2012 /

I remember after a particularly brutal football game my senior year of high school, talking with a friend who had endured a few hard hits. Mid-conversation he said, “What? Oh no. Now I’m crying. I’m crying! [Insert explicative].” The doctor diagnosed him the following morning with a concussion, the source of his tears. 

It’s not a bump on the head, but rather one on my belly, that seems to be causing me unanticipated tears.  For most of the afternoon. Without known cause. (Ok, we might be able to link it to watching a wedding-centered chick flick, but I don’t recall 27 Dresses moving me in same manner at its original viewing). 
I’m not an awful pregnant woman. I don’t puke. My ankles remain their normal size. My blood pressure stays steady. No glucose-related issues (if you ignore my craving for tart candies). Really, I get tired, cry a lot and love me some BK Chicken sandwiches, but otherwise I consider myself lucky. 
But even in the best of situations, an element of housing another being includes the frustrating challenge of loss of self. It begins small, with the loss of control over your own digestive desires. In the scheme, these are small adjustments for the sake of growing a baby. “It will be worth it,” we hear. And sure, meeting that little bundle does help ease the former discomfort. But honestly, that’s just something that people say when they’re not pregnant. 
The reality of de-prioritizing ourselves isn’t as simple as making a chiro appointment for the flaring sciatic. We don’t pee on a stick and magically, willingly endure even the mildest inconvenience with sheer delight. If you ask me, in the day and age of women learning and living as independent, strong, self-directed individuals, this giving of yourself to another meets, a tougher learning curve. Of course, marriage has been good practice at learning to consider someone other than yourself. But in that situation, it’s usually (or best) a two-way road, reciprocated and appreciated. 
In the role of motherhood, this sacrificial giving is a bit more one-sided. And honestly, that’s the way it’s supposed to be. I’m the parent.  But knowing the role I’m supposed to play doesn’t ease the growing pains of becoming that person. 

Thanks to a recent post by Sarah Bessey (no seriously, go read it, I’ll wait… ok. Totally worth it, yes?), I’ve thought more about the spiritual connection of motherhood through our physical bodies. Today, the commonly quoted Romans 12:1-2 came to mind – Therefore, offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to him. This is your spiritual act of worship. And I couldn’t help but get caught up on on the word bodies. Christianity tends to be a very heartfelt-driven belief. But Paul doesn’t urge us to give our hearts as sacrifices, loving as an idea. No, he gets physical. Offer your bodies, and in so doing, it becomes something spiritual. It becomes worship. 
What can pregnancy – or enduring the haze following a sleepless night, or sharing stomach virus germs, or spending a year tied via breast to another person – possibly have to do with loving God? I think it might be everything. 
If we cannot give ourselves to this helpless being, how will we ever give ourselves completely to an invisible one? If we can’t wash the feet of our littles, will we ever stoop to another in a humbling position? God gave us a beautiful gift in the creation of families and community – He gave us the gift of practice. 
I’m only 4 years into this journey and still find frequent, frustrating episodes of selfishness rising up amid my best intentions to be a loving mom. Sometimes I just want to watch a girly show without having to send a kid back to bed. I wish for times of writing a blog post, thoughts uninterrupted by a little one that has yet again thrown her binky out of her crib. I want to eat my dessert without explaining why it’s mine and no you cannot have a bite without guilt.  
Loving in this context is more than your heart jumping, or even crying with pity for the starving children of Africa. Love means typing with a kid in your lap. It means cold food and early nights in. It means giving up dairy while nursing. Love takes on the physical, the right here. 
And in no other time of the year do I appreciate this experience more than the days leading up to God doing the same for all mankind. To think that God didn’t just love with a compassionate heart from afar … “oh, look at them down there, those poor humans. I hope someone helps them!” He loved right here, in the flesh. I’d like to think of it has his version of cleaning up puke in the middle of the night. 
Motherhood. Loving. Following Jesus. It’s not easy, but it’s good. It’s not automatic, but it’s grown. 

One of those days

December 4, 2012 /

It’s one of those days. When I pour another cup of coffee and enjoy the morning. When the baby sleeps  nearly 2 hours past when she normally arises. 

When H boy is “reading” his Bible.
When Miss M eats 3 bowls of oatmeal because she thinks it’s “delicious” with jam. 
When we have no where to go.
When the only thing “to do” is call a few doctors for appointments and perhaps finish up the laundry. 
When the Lincoln Logs can stay in the middle of the floor a while longer.
When the nativity scene is the favorite toy.
When I already have the enchilada sauce simmering in the crock pot for dinner, the biggest cooking challenge of the day. 
It’s one of those days that probably won’t last all day. It might not even last until lunch. So I’m going to pour that cup of coffee and enjoy it. Stop rushing it. Stop trying to make it more productive. Stop asking even more of a morning. 
Just sip. And savor. Because one day, these days will remain only as I can remember them. And I’ll only remember what I was fully present to experience. 
...And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this? (Esther 4:14)

My solution to everything

November 29, 2012 /

Christmas shopping is upon us, with all three big days of spending under our belts. So now we start in on that list of people who we don’t know what to give them. My solution is always the same: books. I love books. I find peace and comfort and answers and questions in books. I’m one of those people who, in the midst of meaningful life conversation, has the gull to suggest a book as part of the solution. 

I don’t mean to suggest that simply reading the book will solve all your problems. But what a wonderful way to start seeking change! A good writer inspires, a good story captivates, a good character invites you along, deeming you worthy. 
So, here are my book suggestions (non-fiction), based upon how they affected me, specifically over the past 10 years. I would try to order them, but that’s a bit unfair. So I’ll just add extra emphasis where needed. 
1. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years (Donald Miller). This book is now available in paperback, so to put it simply, just buy one for every single person on your list. Use them instead of gift tags and just write their name in the cover. Even the mailman will enjoy this one. It uses the concept of story, such as in a movie or book, to convey the power of living a better life. It parses out character, ambition, conflict and what it means for us as humans to live a good story. I’ve read it no less than 10 times now and am moved every time. 
2. Flashbang: How I Got Over Myself (Mark Steele). This book changed the way I view relationships and what it means to live authentically with those around me. It clearly has a Christian perspective. His storytelling is top notch, and to boot he’s a comic, meaning there were moments when I shed physical tears of hilarity. I gave it to one of my students to read on the way home from Mexico and he was laughing so hard the guy next to him on the plane commented on what a good book it must be. If Clin-ton hadn’t kept it in a vain attempt to finish it, I’m sure I would have read it at least 5 more times. I believe I read it 3 times in 3 years. There were a few parts so funny and meaningful that I would dig it out just to read that chapter. 
3. The Blessings of a Skinned Knee (Wendy Mogel). My cousin sent me this book after a fantastic conversation at the lake and I’ve reviewed it multiple times. It uses 3 basic Jewish principles (which, let’s remember, is what Mary probably used for Jesus) and applies them to common parenting woes. It provides a great balance of letting go within our overparenting, helicopter-mom world of parenting. Loved it, and I’m anxious to read her school- and teen-version, The Blessings of a B Minus. 
4. In Defense of Food (Michael Pollen). If you’ve spoken to me for 5 minutes, you know that food fascinates me. I love food, especially good food. And I want to be healthy and balanced in my love of food and this book provided a fantastic framework for that. It’s got a deep, science-y middle (which I could leave) but for many, the evidence is as importance as the theory. His basic premise: eat food that your grandmother would recognize as food. Great stuff for anyone who is exploring the “clean food” movement. 
5. Girl Meets God (Lauren Winner). I’m a sucker for a good memoir and Lauren’s captivated me from the start. At one point in her teenage years she converted to orthodox Judaism only to later meet Jesus in the Episcopal church. The woman is a genius – a history professor at Duke – and fellow biblioholic. She weaves in her story of love and angst, familial tugs and spiritual stirrings. It’s not your typical Evangelical read. She once emailed me and I saved it for proof. I was wooed. 
6. Irresistible Revolution (Shane Claiborne) or Seven (Jen Hatmaker). Both of these rock your socks – or more literally, shoes – off. It meets the Christian Living in Materialistic American Culture clash, head on. At times you might feel it’s a bit extreme, but they both offer compelling arguments that extremity is at times needed. 
7. NurtureShock (Po Bronson). I quote this book all the time, especially as it comes to “common sense” approaches to dealing with children. I nearly read the entire first chapter aloud to my cousins at the lake, as it dealt with praising children vs. instilling a sense of working hard. It’s very research-based, but written by journalists, not the researchers or those who funded the studies. The book covers multiple questions parents might have as it comes to raising their kids in regard to dealing with race issues, effectiveness of preschool, even their approach to learning language. 
8. Jesus wants to save the Christians (Rob Bell). Though he’s fallen under heavy criticism this past year, I deeply appreciate Bell’s hermeneutic and approach to scripture, first trying to understand it as it would have been heard by original readers, specifically in the Jewish context. He adds the elements of politics, geography and underlying context. This book was released just prior to the 08 election, and aptly timed, and raises fair questions for the ways in which Christians apply their beliefs in American culture. 
9. Radical Homemakers (Shannon Hayes). Yet another book which takes solutions to the extreme, but the thinking behind it has changed me forever. She challenges that consumer culture has robbed women the joy of contributing to the home in a meaningful way, left only to decide which products to use as opposed to creating the means of the home. It’s a new view on a feminist thought that completely warmed me – that corporate careers aren’t the only way to support my family with substance. This woman makes her own soap, they build their own furniture. They barter and live communally. Even if I continue to buy my soap from someone else, it’s empowering to read about the ways in which I can create rather than consume for my own household. And she minces no words to make it seem easy, only that it is good. 
10. Overachievers (Alexandra Robbins). Another journalistic piece exploring the “secret lives of driven teenagers.” It’s focused on east coast, high-performing schools, so it’s not exactly my own context, but I believe that a scaled-down, cheaper version exists right here in Ohio. I read this while working with teenagers and was quickly prompted to review how I treated them and what I asked of them, understanding the need to love them not for how they perform or achieve, but as young people learning the ways of the world. Highly recommended for anyone who knows a teenager. 
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