Category: Uncategorized (Page 176 of 188)

nothing like titling a post from a david crowder song (even better yet – whole album).

Thursday we went to toledo to begin the process of fitting H with hearing aids. He was very good when they made the earmolds, and we absolutely love our new audiologist (but sad that dr. Z can’t keep us. darn distance!). interesting enough, the audiologist, Patti, had a daughter with a severe hearing loss, which made it much easier to ask questions. she has a fabulous “bedside manner” to start with, she has a way of making no quesiton seem stupid but no concern or fear unmanagable.

this to be said because wednesday night was a bit difficult. a word to the wise: if your kid, or anyone you love, has some sort of special circumstance – don’t do too much googling on the subject. talk to someone directly. i was completely overwhelmed with IEPs, sign language options, special schools, the whole gammet of what other folks have dealt with. but after thursday i realized that their story might not be OUR story. there will always be similarities and i think it’s human nature to try to find similarities when dealing with the unknown, but that doesn’t mean God is writing the same story for each person with a hearing loss (or any new obstacle that gets thrown in the way).

its a bit challenging to deal with all the what-ifs & wills: what life will be like, will kids make fun of him, will he feel constrained, will we do everything right to make sure he develops like he should, will others just pity him and not allow him the beauty of overcoming challenges… there’s a whole list. then there’s the ongoing battle of realism vs. optimism. you want to be like “it’ll be fine” but you also have to see that day-to-day life will be different than expected.

the audiologist first won me over when she was able to think financially for us (aka, know when your warrenties are about to run out), but she held my heart in her hand when she explained what we’re looking at: “you’re all set to go to france. you pack your bag, learn the language, read the reviews and make an itenrary. then you get off the plane and find that you’re in spain. it’s a new language and a new surrounding. it’s not france, but it’s a great adventure.”

Disclaimer:
I am not pro-choice. I am not pro-life. I don’t think either of these views offer a viable long-term solution because I don’t believe that either of these views are asking the right questions.
So in a blog about abortion, i state my view is: abortion is the effect, not the cause of systemic evils in our world. Abortion is the result of other things going wrong. I don’t think there’s a question if it’s right or not (though there will be a minority that says it is ok… but i don’t think that’s my reading audience, if i were to ever have one. that’s a whole other ethical argument. i think the majority of people on all ends would say putting an end to life is not good). Another disclaimer: it is my understanding that a large majority of aboritons involve younger, single women, often times minorities and a large percentage of them live within poverty levels. the minority of women who are of means and just decide “not to have this one” are outside the bounds of this view. i have other issues about that.

So here’s my complaint: Stop complaining about new policy. I think that i’m safe in saying that, over time, it has never been proven that policy will change people and the way they live their life. It won’t. Go all the way back and we find Jesus facing the same problem – Laws won’t change people. People change people. (insert song by Derek Webb here. really. go find it on itunes. “A new law.”)

I don’t like that my tax dollars will support a decision that i don’t think is best for all parties involved. but complaining and pointing fingers isn’t a solution either. it’s been my view since a very involved christian ethics class 2 years ago that if i’m not willing to go the road for her, i don’t think i can make decisions for another woman (or person). if i hate abortion that much, i need to put more than just my vote to work.

if it’s a flag i’m going to wave, then by golly-yup, thems fightin’ words- by golly my life had better reflect it. I’d better be out there helping the women who are faced with such an awful decision. I’d better be willing to say, “i’ll do whatever i can to make life work so that you can have this baby”.

so, with a new president and possibly new policy in place, there is some anger. maybe even fear. lots of call to prayer. recently I’ve decided that one purpose of prayer is to invite us to participate in what God is doing on earth. So, make that your prayer. As Ghandi said (i think it was Ghandi?) – Be the change you wish to see in this world.

Stop counting on policy to make a difference – use your life to make a difference.

Disclaimer: i need to get to work, so i can’t proof read this to see if it even makes sense. but i feel better. 🙂

If there’s one thing i’ve learned about myself as i have added the mother-piece to my collection of selves, it is an awareness of strength. it’s not just the guns, though toting an 11 pounder does help the conditioning. but most recently i have experienced what Lisa See calls in her books “mother love.” mother love is, as so many people have been quick to tell me, “unlike any other love you ever experience.” (i hate it when people say things that really mean nothing …). but i have to agree that my love for little H involves thoughts, emotions and fears that i don’t necessarily experience with the many other people I love.
mother love takes more strength than wife love, daughter love or friend love. twice in the past 4 days I’ve had to listen to the little guy scream, chin quivering, because of decisions i had made on his behalf – getting shots and denying him sleep so he could have his ears tested. he was so mad, it made me wonder if i was making the right decision. but mother love requires that you step back and let your little one experience the uncomforts of the world.
it seems that mother love is about the whole picture. you’re making decisions and living each day of your life not just for what your child needs at the current moment but for what s/he needs for a life of wholeness. mother love isn’t about the shots, it’s about the health. it isn’t about the bath but about becoming clean. it’s not about the food, but about nutrition.
mother love isn’t just about the current moment, though each and every moment is a joy to experience. and most interesting is that mother love is all about the child, though i would argue that the mother is on the recieving end when it comes to joy.

*i’m sure there’s an equivilent father-love. however, i am not a father and lisa see did not write books about the topic.

**the title of the post comes from one of my favorite songs from one of my most favorite musicals, the wiz.