Category: Uncategorized (Page 160 of 188)

i did. it was ichthus and God was showing his “ever present” sense of humor because K and I thought we’d be funny and make camo shirts for the kids that said Enduring R.A.S.H. (Rain And Sweat for Him). and then i got a rash. on my eye.

in actuality i think it was a string of cold sores – i get them on my mouth for 4 major reasons: sun, stress, sickness and citrus. too much of any of them and i get a pretty little mark. (yes, there is a little bit of stress in taking a bunch of teenagers out of state to live out of tents for 4 days). i’m now currently working on my second cold sore (on my mouth this time, thank goodness) in under a month. ugh.

usually i take it as a sign that i need to slow down and heal up. it’s like my pre-warning. unless i get it after my sickness, to which it says “i told you so.” but recently we’ve been running a marathon, but sometimes at the speed of a sprint. those of you who know my running abilities might say “but wait, i didn’t think you had a sprint?” ah, yes, you are correct. as K might say, “it’s more of a lope.” but it’s faster than a normal pace than i’m used to handling.

we’re on the home stretch. Hubby is in the kitchen studying for the praxis at this moment. lists are made for the big birthday bash. we have a plan of attack in order for the pre-party cleaning (which makes no sense because i can just guess what my house will look like POST party – there will be 3 others that are 3 or under!).

i’m trying to figure out what it means to “take it easy” with things. what is cluttering up my time that i’m doing so much that i’m waking up tired? surely there’s a way to whittle down to necessities, at least for the next few weeks. on the other hand, i don’t want to miss out on wonderful opportunites to fully enjoy the days God has granted just because i’m “tired.” what a pickle.

my lesson learned most recently: at the end of the day, it CAN be put away. i’m not so important that the world will stop moving without me. clearly. since all of the managers i’m working with insist upon escalating every issue. 🙂

yup. took a tumble. and i was standing right there. i turned as he bopped the first step and got there almost in time before his head hit the floor.

it’s nothing i’d care to repeat viewing. i felt awful. he was mad, sad, hurt and just wanted to lay his head on my chest and cry. so we did for a little bit. then we went outside (no tomatoes to look at so we just went for a walk).

i had some time to process this. i had called KM to ask if i was a bad mom because i kinda felt like it. good moms stay closer right? good moms don’t let their kids fall down the stairs? maybe good moms always keep one hand on the kid’s back so they can react quicker and catch their kids.

i’m not a believer in the common thought that parents have a corner on God’s perspective. there are plenty of people who don’t have kids (or are not married, for that fact – another common one) that understand way more about God than i. but as i was asking myself if i were a bad mom i found myself circling that very common philosophical question “if God is good then why do bad things happen?”

as i thought “if i were a good mom, henry wouldn’t have fallen” i could see why people say “if he were a good God, i wouldn’t have experienced XYZ.” but by the end of the walk i could tell you that it’s just not true. and i’m not just trying to defend my parenting abilities.

after all i. was. right. there. i didn’t leave to go get the groceries. i wasn’t more concerned with my own agenda. he couldn’t say “why have you left me?!” because i didn’t. i was on the floor the moment he was. so the fact that something bad happened does not negate my mere existence.

and, most of all, i didn’t “let” it happen to him to “teach him a lesson.” i did teach henry how to go down the stairs and it involved me showing him to crawl backward -knee knee foot foot.

the poor guy fell down the stairs because it’s a part of the human experience. we can do things to try to prevent it, we can adjust, but we cannot completely avoid the falls. the only way i could do that is to eliminate the entire experience of stairs. and what a flat, boring existence that would be. (did i mention that H loves his stairs? i think he’s training for the olympics)

sometimes we just have to be thankful that, while falling down the stairs does happen, we do have someone to hold us, kiss the boo boo and take us on a walk on a b-e-a-utiful day to help the healing process begin.

you end up with all kinds of jumbled thoughts and ideas and memories and there’s really no logical way to organize them into elegant prose. so it might be time for one of laura’s favorite numbered posts. hey, it’s saturday.

1. does everyone wake up at 6am on a saturday? no. just me. this is after i nearly lost an eye at 5:30 getting back into bed… jj’s elbow had clearly encroached upon my pillow and now i’m going to have to tell people that “he only does it because he loves me.” j/k, there’s no mark.

2. my kid is seriously the cutest thing ever. EVER. he’s at a really fun play stage where he just loooooves to play. this morning he forgot it was breakfast and instead started putting his eggs in his bowl, then taking them out. who knew that food doubled as toys? guess everyone can take back the birthday present and visit the produce aisle instead. but i have to say watching him explore his toy-things and figure out how to put things where he wants them – it’s precious.

3. after some significant disappointment, we’re in town this weekend. we thought that we’d have wedding festivities to attend but alas we are parents and when the babysitter cancels we have to act like parents and stay home with child. it’s too bad, i’m sure it’ll be a humdinger of a wedding.

4. the hubby is taking his comps today, the big you-can-graduate test. next week is 2 of his 3 praxis (praxeese plural?). if we survive to next sunday there’s a good chance we’ll see jesus come back. he has worked soooooo hard and i am soooo proud. i can’t wait to see him in a cap and gown.

5. i would compare working full time to eating a rich peanut butter chocolate cake (thanks KW for sharing!). It’s good, but too much of it will make you throw up. I’ve really enjoyed the project i’m on at work. i like the type of work i’m doing – the fast pace, the independant nature (even though poor Kathy still has to hold my hand through some decisions). the hours? eh. i like the pay that comes with it. and the time really flies. i have to be careful not to go to the bathroom or i completely miss the 9:00 hour. i think i enjoy it more because i know it’s a short-term situation that will someday end, and then i’ll move on to something else. i can enjoy it for what it is. it’s a great sub-plot in a story that can offer some interesting talk points, but at the end of the day i can remember it’s a subplot.

6. i bought my first christmas present yesterday. for some reason, i’m really in the spirit- a bit soon (for me) but it’s enjoyable. i’ve got a decent list of things that i know i want to get others. on the one hand i really hate the consumeristic slant that christmas always takes. we always spend to much and get too much – more than we need, really. i hate feeling like i’m giving something becuase that’s what i’m expected to do. on the other hand, i LOVE finding *the* perfect gift. to know someone will really enjoy something and to watch them experience the delight of feeling like someone cared enough to remember… to me, that does capture the christmas spirit. it’s about giving of yourself (isn’t that what the incarnation is all about?).

7. everything holy is supposed to happen in sevens, so if i want a chance at getting into heaven i better come up with one more thing. ah, yes. book club. i love it. we generally gather and eat very well (followed by explanations of recipes). but i was a bit overwhelmed and under-rested with life, so i ordered pizza. and you know what? the girls didn’t even care. they loved the ranch dipping sauce from padrone’s so much (i think i caught KLM guzzling it) that they didn’t even notice that it didn’t come from my oven. such wonderful ladies.