Category: Uncategorized (Page 128 of 188)

We’ve tried not to let the complaints about husband’s job fly around the house as we know it will just escalate everyone’s misery (in relation to that subject). Complaining about it does not change the situation. However, my sorrow over the whole ordeal has reached new heights.

I’m sad that the kids at his school have no respect for adults in their life, people who do wish the best for them and want to help. I’m sad that they have no respect for one another, fellow human beings who are struggling to make it on this earth just like them. I’m sad that they have no respect for themselves, allowing themselves to be washed up in escape mechanisms rather than knowing that their souls are worth fighting for.

I finally printed out the new pictures of the kids to hang in our living room (only 2 months late!). As a surprise, I printed off a 4×6 for husband to take with him to school. Something to bring light into a dark classroom. His response? “Boy, those are great pictures. I wish I could take them to school. I can’t… the kids will just make fun of my children.”

Ruthless. No respect. I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s something criminal to the whole situation. It makes my chest hurt.  It makes me sad for everyone involved. But it further solidifies the theory I learned in seminary: Hurting people hurt people. And I want them to stop trying to hurt my husband.

In celebration of fall – and because I had 3.5 baking pumpkins on my counter/in my fridge, and also in honor of a new cousin, Brooklyn, I made pumpkin cookies today. What mama-again (what do you call second time mothers? Don’t they need some pampering too, even if they have a bit of experience?) wouldn’t require a seasonal sweet when bringing home baby? Friends offered rave reviews on these cookies last season, so I decided to dust off the recipe.

As I was putting it together, I noticed that it called for 1 1/2 cups sugar and only 1 cup pumpkin. To me, that seems a bit off. I mean, who’s leading this parade? The whole point of the coming together of these ingredients is the pumpkin! So I decided to divide ways from my recipe, if ever so slightly.

We went with just 1/2 cup of brown sugar (because, and I’m not sure why, I believe in the supremacy of brown sugar in all things baking related if it has a seasonal fruit/vegetable involved. Banana bread, apple baking, zucchini bread – you get the idea). And after putting in the required cup of pumpkin, I just kept shoveling in the heaping tablespoons – I would guess another 3/4 cup. I added the other spices as required, and the 2 eggs and 1/2 cup butter (mmmm, butter). I just pulled one of these warm goodies out and sampled. Delish! It’s like fall is having a festival in your mouth. Because that’s what fall hosts – festivals, rather than parties.

By decreasing the sugar the pumpkin was able to shine. She took center stage and got a standing ovation. It made me think (as things usually do). Just because we think something is good, we tend to shovel it in by the barrel. Sugar is sweet and pleasant, so dump, dump, dump it in! But what if it’s covering up the beauty of so many other things?

I think this could be true of so many of the activities for which we sign up our kids (or perhaps even ourselves?). Baseball is fun, right? Why not have them play 3 nights a week? And if a little bit of studying and reading is nice, then let’s load up on the homework. But soon that which is just supposed to sweeten has instead masked the flavor of what life is really about. Something that was simply supposed to add to the mix has instead taken center stage. And too much of it causes a tummy ache.

Oh, balance, where are you in my life? I’d like to take the “just 1/2 cup” approach to our life – not deplete it of sugar completely, but I want a cookie that I can feel good to offer my kid, one that has more vegetable in it but is still a yummy treat. And the same goes for all the stuff, all the activity with which we fill our time.

This week brought the gift of sharing not just one, but TWO evenings with KLR. One was impromptu, a bribing on my part, involving potato skins. The other was a planned occasion initiated on her part, involving a good pinot noir.

We remarked how our friendship is now at a place of complete understanding. We’ve moved through the stages of initial infatuation into the delicate land of learning – and accepting – one another’s faults. I’d like to say we made this progression with grace and finesse, but, like learning what love is really about, it took a lot of forgiveness, tears and several bottles of wine. But now we can joke about how she throws things and bottles up emotion while I let hurtful words fly and have a tendency to get a bit over-dramatic. We still encourage one another to grow out of this, but love is not conditional. At least, ours isn’t. And because of that, I can say that we’ve made a lot of progress. (At least, she has. I haven’t seen her throw something in nearly a year.)   

Ours is a comfortable friendship, one that can be picked up after a season of time apart. Whereas daily living used to define us, now we can weave throughout our time together. And probably most characteristic about our current friendship is why it exists: sanity. When life has a way of sweeping us into the clouds or knocking us on the ground, having a true friend as a baseline ensures you remember which way is up. So our monthly “dates” work to keep us charged. An evening of laughing, dreaming, sometimes crying, and often times engaging a bottle of a dry red brings us back to a point where the world is beautiful and good, but hard. We don’t try to fix one another, even though we frequently talk about current challenges. One of us may pose a good question to move us into the stages of being “part of the solution, not part of the problem” but often times we take on the world and its problems, together. It’s wonderful to know you’re not alone. I frequently tell the husband that I’m a better person for our entire family when I get to spend time with a friend like that. Yes, sanity.

I would have to say that Jesus has a similar place in my life. His presence used to be one that was fun and different from the norm. Learning all about him kept my interest and every new quirk or facet of his character kept me intrigued. I loved the learning. And each day I do learn something new about my faith and the cornerstone of it. But the newness isn’t what keeps me coming back, but rather it’s the sanity it brings. The baseline. Seeing the world outside of my own perspective and remembering my small place in it. Focusing my energy beyond the daily wear-and-tear of life. And knowing that I don’t control it all. It’s wonderful to know you’re not alone. Yes, sanity.