Category: parenting (Page 12 of 14)

let’s go down, down to the river

May 6, 2012 / Michele Minehart

One of the challenges of visiting churches comes with standing by during meaningful moments. This morning was baptism Sunday and I felt slightly voyeuristic peering in on this significant moment for 8 individuals. But let me tell you, such an experience won’t leave me dry eyed. I was glad when the worship leader was clearly moved as well, so I was in good company.

The preacher did a fantastic job of sharing the heart for each person in this group of young people (and one adult) and praying for their future. It was not just about going under the water to be washed clean, but rising again into a future of walking with God.

I recently read a post about parenting and faith (and I cannot seem to find it to link to it. Blogger Fail.) which the author weighed the idea of baptism of young kids; she had come through a faith crisis herself and when her 5 year old came to her asking to be baptized, she had trouble agreeing to it. The sentiment of the post was that the little boy didn’t realize what he was committing to; that though everlasting life and love of Jesus might be the reasons we’re baptized, it comes with a commitment to carry a cross, love our neighbors and give and serve more than we receive. I resonated with her thoughts – I have difficulty sometimes grasping and living what a decision to follow Jesus means. Does this little one understand the gravity or the depth of such a decision.

But today, watching the young people (ages 5 to probably 10, and one adult) make professions of faith – “I want everyone to know that I love God” and “I’m ready to follow Jesus” – one can’t help but experience that other-worldly idea of Hope of which we read and sing. Because the adults leading these children weren’t just leading them to a single decision of salvation, but directing them toward a lifelong journey of walking with God. Did the kids completely understand what will be involved? I would say they did to the extent they are capable. At no point do we really comprehend what a commitment might hold, but we can grasp its current reality.

And because those baptized were a part of the children’s ministry, they brought down all the kids to watch. H Boy was front and center watching, full of curiosity. I absolutely loved this, knowing he was participating in something very holy and very real. At the same time, I sat filled with dread about the questions. And the answers I’m supposed to have. And my convictions and my worries and my (see above paragraph)… I began to realize just how big this job is getting and how unprepared – unqualified – I am.

But then I remembered the words of a pastor I greatly appreciate. A few years ago there was a message about childhood discipleship following VBS week. His main point said that such grand events are fun, but if not followed with a life and understanding of Jesus the rest of the year, it’s done in vain. He talked about parenting and the weight we we feel. I wasn’t a parent when I heard it, but it stuck with me. He honestly reflected that sometimes as a parent – though he’s a preacher – he’s scared to death and doesn’t feel like he has the right answers. All of a sudden, it became okay to not be ready for this.

So much of our life we’re learning as we go. Parenting, for me, falls into that category. As does Faith. I don’t have answers. I don’t know the ideal time to baptize a kid or how to plant the seeds in these young minds that someday they’ll have to make a decision about who or what will be the center of their lives and if we choose Jesus, that means our life might not be the same. It’s overwhelming to think about the bigness of God and the smallness of the vocabulary and experiences I’ve got to work with in translating to them.

But then again, there’s Crowder: My eyes are small but they have seen / the beauty of enormous things / which leads me to believe / there’s light enough to see.

The pastor remarked about how God uses an inward work and an outward act to culminate in a beautiful thing we call baptism. For me, it became a beautiful collision of hope and fear and the admission that at times they coexist. Not a fear that leaves me scared, but a fear that recognizes the weight of the task ahead. A healthy fear that causes me to pray – and pray hard – on behalf of my littles. And for me. And for my husband. And for the church community in which we’ll be planted. Because it will be God working through all things that actually bring my kids to the point of asking, seeking and knocking, not just my Correct Answers or Brilliant Analogies. My Wisdom and Know-How have nothing on the experience of introducing my kids to a world of people that love Jesus.

parenting as stewardship

March 17, 2012 / Michele Minehart

Most Octobers, I don’t enjoy Church because it’s budgeting season and we’re forced to hear how important our 10% is, both to God, the Church and ourselves. Whilest true, I feel the message would be more effective to talk about the 90% and how we steward that. We only have so much to spend, but do we see each purchase as a decision? Probably not. We just know we need more coffee and Meijer put Brand X on sale. That’s not stewardship, that’s math.

But today I read in the NYTimes Blog (Motherload) a book review on No Regrets Parenting (now on my wishlist); the author did the math and it turns out that as parents we only get 940 Saturdays through childhood (ages birth – 18). Less than a thousand. If you put a dollar in a jar for every Saturday that you get with your kid, when they graduate you’d not have enough to pay their first quarter’s tuition. Or even a decent car to send them away in.

Wow. 940. I keep rolling that number around in my head and wonder if I’m stewarding them well. Today hit the mark – we spent the night at grandma and grandpa’s, woke up for breakfast that we didn’t make, stopped at Indian Mill to throw stones, took the big kids to the park, grilled out some lunch and then played outdoors after naps. Of my 940, I’d say that’s a good way to spend one (or several).

I thought about the parents that I follow whose children are in a different stage of life; they get to spend their Saturdays at the ball diamond. I wonder if they enjoy one that way? Forty? What’s the best number to allot to childhood activities versus the number to spend simply being a child?

Or we can switch days and instead of counting the recreational ones, we could count the spiritual ones. We get 940 Sundays to bring our kids to church, to set an example of prioritizing worship, of introducing them to a family of believers. Sleeping in sounds nice much of the time, but if we only get 940, and we spend 400 of them sleeping, shouldn’t we wonder what a life of faith would’ve looked like? Clearly church attendance doesn’t make the person a Christian (“any more than being in water makes you a fish”), but the simple act of putting on our pretty clothes, singing a song and hearing a message to center us on God means that we’re doing more to stretch our spirituality than if we stayed in our jammies and watched cartoons. I feel like it’s a worthy way to spend a Sunday.

940. I can’t stop. If I realize that I only get a limited number of childhood Saturdays, will I choose to spend them wisely? (And what exactly is “unwise”?) We don’t need to turn every Saturday into a production, but with this new knowledge I want to be able to begin to name the good and the bad, the worthy and the unworthy. What if I spent at least 100 of them serving others with my kids? How could that impact them? What if we spent at least 50 of them in other places – new states, countries, cultures and climates? How could that shape their view of the world?

An friend spends his Saturdays at the House of Breakfast with his daughter. Nearly every Saturday, unless extenuating circumstances arise. That’s worthy of a Saturday right there. And they return and still have a whole day ahead (until he has to preach, God bless his soul. *Pats shoulder appreciatively*).

What if I were to begin viewing Saturdays like money? What if I stewarded my precious time with my children, seeing each week as a decision between this or that. Yes, there’s X we could do. But I want to put my time and energy with my children toward Y. I don’t want another 50 Saturdays of such-and-such to eat away at my stash.

Stewardship, the idea that we control resources but cannot create them, seems such the church-y word to me, but yet that’s what we are here on earth – stewards. Nothing we owns goes with us; we simply use, enjoy and manage it for a short while. So it goes with children. We can control the resources. We can use, enjoy and manage the time with them for such a brief while. When they’re grown, we cannot manufacture new years of youth to be consumed again.

I’m glad I can go to bed tonight assured we spent one of the 940 in a most worthy way. And I have another week to plot and scheme so that the immediate future doesn’t slip through my fingers.

petition 3:14am

February 8, 2012 / Michele Minehart

We, the parents of infants and toddlers, do hereby petition you, God, as creator of Earth and director of the “way things are”, for more sleep on behalf of parental units.

The required patience for 3-year-olds who dilly-dally before going to bed seems to be a baseline standard. And a pre-requisite of infant feedings through, oh, 4-6 months, has been deemed excusable.

But 3 hours of subsequent crying-quiet-crying-quiet?

Wakings every 2 hours?

Perhaps we should appeal to the wisdom of Mother Mary, who knows our plight. Then again, she was probably a co-sleeper and will pull some “I slept in a barn, so as you climb back onto your Serta you can just get over it” card.

So we will resort to reason: if being asked to lovingly redirect our children instead of dragging them upside down in an effort to get out the door in the morning, please provide a standard of 5-6 subsequent, uninterrupted hours of slumber. When cleaning messes, doing 800 loads of laundry and picking up toys that have 512 pieces is part of the standard job description, we feel that REM provisions would be adequate.

And if you could hold off on the sinus infections until we’re sleeping through the night, that would go a long way to show a bit of good will.

Category: parenting (Page 12 of 14)

let’s go down, down to the river

parenting as stewardship

petition 3:14am

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