Category: gospel (Page 5 of 6)

Bottomless Pit

I love to eat. I enjoy healthy food and junk food, salads and McNuggets (though I certainly have tried to curb the latter). I even accepted Indian food into my life again earlier this summer after avoiding it for 8 years following my trip there. (Turns out it I didn’t dislike the food – it was the aroma of dog and feces which invaded my experience that turned me off.) I snack frequently and look forward to social interactions because they likely include food.

Should I be so surprised that my kids also enjoy it? I’m thrilled about this. So far, they eat with a broad palate. We make lunches of sliced bell peppers, cucumbers and hummus or soups. A bean and rice bowl is met by willing mouths. And, like their parents, my kids enjoy dessert. I try very hard to approach all food – even those made of dairy or including gluten, which we avoid – as gifts so we don’t have “bad food” and “good food”. It’s all good. Some of it makes us feel crummy later – specifically H boy and mama.

This evening Lady C tried to convince me that we didn’t eat lunch. Which is completely false because today was McCommunion. Then we went to a picnic with church family for dinner. I reviewed with her our gluttonous menu plan, reiterating we ate 3 full meals plus snacks and daddy generously gave her one of Grandma’s Monster Cookies before bed. Yet the girl insisted that we missed a meal. (Come on. As if her Mama could ever do that.)

As I repeated our 3-meal-2-snack life, I couldn’t help but remember the many kids (and adults!) in places near and far who ate a quarter of such food. I’m guessing that research could provide evidence that we ate more today than most people in the rest of the world. (I tried a basic google search to find a statistic which would catch the eye of you numbers-driven people. However, I got dizzy and a little depressed after my first search result from the World Hunger Education Service).

We walk a fine line with our kids when it comes to waste and abundance. We want them to know they will never be in need – their family will take care of them. That’s not a worry for them to take on themselves. However, we also want to instill in them a sense of responsibility that comes with our privileged place in society.

“Starving kids in China” didn’t really work much for our generation – I wanted to send my mom’s roast over as an offering of my concern – but I don’t want my kids to leave the house thinking that food is a limitless supply. In our circumstance, yes, we can always buy more. But not everyone can. And when we do that – when we toss it in our garbage instead of our mouths, we are removing it from the shelves and changing the economics involved to get needed resources to the people who need them most.

In general, if a full meal is presented yet not consumed by one of our children, it waits on the table for snack time as a second chance and no snack will be served until most (a word defined only by mom and dad) is eaten. I simply can’t bear to throw away one bowl of food only to refill it immediately with another.  Is it so bad to allow my children to feel hunger once in a while? They’re much easier to deal with when well fed, and I’m not advocating a 40-day fast in any sense, but is our easy access to nutritious food standing in the way of naturally learning the virtue of self-control and perhaps even generosity? Just feed one

The Report said that nearly a third of the world population is living on a diet equivalent to $1.25 each day. Now that Wendy’s jacked up their Value Menu, you can’t even get a single sandwich for that, let alone 3 squares and 2 snacks. And we’re not talking about produce. That budget will get you a bag of organic apples for the entire week and nothing else. Can you imagine your week’s groceries consisting of a bag of apples for each person?

A friend of mine pastors a church that spends the end of the Lenten season in a Week of Solidarity to gain an understanding of life for the poor around the world. They use the season of fasting to eat only what $1.25 will purchase and spend time praying for those in need and giving their remaining grocery and food budget to organizations devoted to feeding the hungry. After this evening’s brief discussion, I’m wondering how I might differentiate that for the children so they can begin to understand that the joy of food doesn’t come just in cookie form.

How do we begin to make a lifestyle of acknowledging that our satiation isn’t a reality for all people without heaping guilt upon them every time we sit at the table? I feel a healthy tension is required, one that doesn’t result in worried souls but rather compassionate and aware little humans. I want them to keep their healthy appreciation of food and eat so their little bodies grow strong. It’s not the food that is the enemy: it’s our casual indifference to the waste of it.

Love in a garage sale group

My friends Kristy and Megan turned me toward the County Garage Sale trend at differing times, but now I regularly browse through the Facebook groups to see what’s offered that I need love. And, much like the rest of my life, it’s become a huge science experiment. Y’all, people are fascinating.

But now I’m sad.

First, there was this:

garage sale church.jpg

 

This one caught my eye first because it was about church and, on the whole, I seem to be about church. But the more I got to thinking about it, the more this post broke my heart.

Here was this person living through a difficult time. She decides that she needs to go to church to see if that won’t help – a noble and not always easy decision.

And she doesn’t know a single real-live person to ask where to go.

She asks a bunch of people who buy and sell junk together.

My friends, this is a problem.

It’s not a problem because the Garage Sale sites need to become our next marketing target – it’s a problem because the people going to the 109 churches of Miami County don’t know her personally, or not one of them has made it known to this woman that they do indeed attend and that she is welcome to join. Our circles don’t connect or even touch. The only place she can find someone who *might* go to church is on a garage sale site.

My science experiment moved forward a few weeks later:

garage sale need

Right there, among the Longaberger baskets, was a kind woman trying to help a family with children who had nothing. They needed food, clothes, toothpaste and all the very things we keep in stock because it’s on sale. And when looking for people to help contribute, the coordinator turned to: the garage sale site. Of course. Because people who sell crap are known among the world for helping the down and out. The church has no history there.

*Hangs head in shame.*

Finally, when my heart was already torn, a post stomped it into oblivion. It said, “are there any shelters in Troy for women and children?”

Until I joined a garage sale site, I didn’t realize how I surrounded myself with people who were just like me. I inadvertently thought we were all parents of toddlers who liked buying and eating local. I’ve realized I’m basically only around people who want to live into a better world and have the money to make decisions that will help them do it. We talk about our love for maxi skirts and disciplining kids and how hard it is to live your values. I wanted to believe we all have our “differences” but really, that comes down to meaningless stuff like if we were sprinkle-baptized or dunked, or maybe we choose to eat dairy-free instead of McDonalds.

Yesterday, along with these sites, revealed to me just how unlike Jesus I really am.

If all you do is love the loveable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.

It’s not my lack of helping people unlike myself. It’s not even my good intention-paved road.  It’s my lack of knowing people unlike myself that keeps me from living the gospel.

I had him pick up a rake

I didn’t grow up with neighbors. There was a brick house at the end of our half mile lane, but we never borrowed a cup of sugar. (Why would we when we could call Don & Jeanne?) The idea of neighboring has always been a foreign concept. When I moved into my house in Upper my mom was aghast that no one brought me a casserole, not because it went against her own experiences (the only move she ever made was from the house she grew up in to my father’s home that he grew up in, after they wed) but rather I think she was disappointed that neighbors only did that in the movies.

How to be a good neighbor always escaped me. What’s the appropriate amount of time to chat when you get out of your van or while you’re grilling? If you invite them for a swim, is this considered an open invitation? How far from an open window can they hear?

Once again, country life made me a tad naive.

So when I came home from a run one day to see our elderly neighbor out picking up sticks, I was stumped as to my participation level. I like to be helpful, but rarely excel in manuel labor. (Casseroles are more my thing. Or book recommendations. That’s how I “help”.) However, my children exhibit the perfect height-to-strength ratio for stick picking, so I ran inside to fetch the eldest two. By the time we got to the door, the sticks had been gathered and there was nothing to do. Now, I was just the crazy neighbor with all the kids who knocks on the door, asking to pick up sticks.

The following week, the story repeated, this time with the neighbor’s daughter struggling with the mower in grass so high you would think I had been in charge of mowing. Out comes elderly neighbor man with a rake, as the storm clouds headed our way. I raced inside and found the eldest again and we each picked up a rake.

This time we didn’t ask. We just started raking. H Boy LOVED this. Like his mama, he likes to be helpful, but like his daddy he is super with work-tasks. He went to work raking the biggest piles and then carrying them to the trash can. He was so proud of his work – and I of him.

I tend to think of my parenting goals in terms of character rather than final product. I have no idea what any of these kids will look like on the other side of time, but I know certain values I want ingrained into their hearts. Kindness, thoughtfulness, humility,  bravery. I’ve also given a lot of thought to the process of instilling these ideas into their database. How exactly does one become kind and humble? Where do we get so brave as to try something new?

I decided it’s by picking up a rake.

We just do the thing that needs done. We don’t talk as much in “ought to’s” and “should have’s”. We see a friend who needs something so we give it to them. Even when we don’t know the social norms of living across the street from people, we pony up the guts to walk over with a rake and say, “we want to help.”

When we do this – as if it’s normal – our kids begin to believe it’s normal.

Growing up, my circle of friends were so comfortable in one another’s houses we knew where the snack shelf was in each home. One time, a friend walked in after a softball game and immediately went rummaging for some pretzels. A family from outside The Circle was there and the mother was appalled at my friend’s action. I was stumped by this mother’s reaction. What’s so wrong with making yourself at home? (Related: this made me an awful hostess. Why should I offer you a glass of water? You know where the glasses are. Mi casa, su casa around here.)

I need to change the “normal” setting of our family’s way of life. Perhaps then my kids will grow up knowing what to do when they see someone who needs help. And hopefully it won’t be so profound that they’ll have to blog about their success with it afterward – it’s just a part of what they do.

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