Category: God (Page 13 of 14)

Brittany Spears, Dating and Hearing God

My junior year of college I took a class on the History of the Jewish Holocaust, by far the most enriching of my college career. Because I’m a nerd, I typically arrived early. Over time I chatted with fellow nerd and nice guy, Merrill. He was in J-school and we’d shared a few other classes. 

One particular day I was reading The Post and saw a review of the Brittany Spears movie and made some comment. Merrill inquired if I was going to watch it. “HA! No, thank you. I don’t think she has much talent in her original trade, let alone acting,” I said (or something similarly snarky). 
Later – and not just later that day. Like several days later. I’m a quick one – I recollected the conversation to realize he hadn’t asked if I was going to watch the movie – he asked did I want to go see the movie
Like, with him
Oops. So that explains the awkward change in conversational tone in the days following. 
I totally rejected him without even knowing or intending to do so. I’m one of the few people I know who can get asked out and not even realize it. (If you’ve done this, please share in the comments of the blog. Please let me know I’m not alone). The funny thing is: I totally would have said yes. He was a nice guy and I didn’t keep a long list or potential suitors. I would have enjoyed an evening out, even if spent with Brittany Spears. 
I have to wonder: have I ever done this to God? Have I ever thought he was saying one thing, only to give a completely sarcastic response? Have I missed what He asks me to do because I think the task sounds ridiculous?

Probably. That’s because I’m so focused on the activity. I doubt Merrill really wanted to see Brittany Spears, though perhaps he was a closet fan. The invitation wasn’t one of content, but one of relationship. 
“God doesn’t speak to me,” I hear people say. Well, perhaps that’s because we think that when he asks us to go somewhere, you laugh in his face. Perhaps you think it’s about the task before you rather than the person beside you. We don’t hear what He’s truly asking. 
I don’t advocate adapting a Yes, Man attitude – we need not do everything asked of us, just like I wouldn’t date any ol’ fella. But how many good and worthy requests slip by us unnoticed because we roll our eyes at the prospect of an evening spent doing that?
Let us be listeners, not just about the task at hand, but of the voice who is inviting us to share the experience. 

The magic penny

I just needed one thing: coffee creamer. We even let the Kroger cashier check us out to be quicker. But the nice, chatty older woman behind me couldn’t let it be just that. 
The girls were waiting patiently, playing the touch-as-many-candy-bars-as-you-can-and-ask-what-each-of them-are-called game. Of course one asked for one, and I gave them my standard look that reminded them their chances were better if they wished for a fairy. 
The cat lady behind us would have none of it. (I’m not embellishing – her basket was filled with Fancy Feast.) “Oh, how sweet,” she said. “Can I buy them one?”
“Oh, no – that’s alright. They don’t need it. But thank you for the offer,” I politely responded. 
We get nearly all the way through with our useless Kroger Plus points and I tell the girls to each grab a bag. Cat Lady looks at me again. “My son and grandkids are out in California. I never get to treat them to things like this.” I gave some expression of sympathy that it stinks to live far from family and tried to move on. 
She gave me The Look. Head tilted forward, eyes looking up, and she poked a thumb toward the candy rack. “Please?” 
Alright girls, you scored big. 

Malvina Reynolds: Song Lyrics and Poems. Also, 4-H Camp. 
I told them that the generous woman behind us wanted them to each pick a piece of candy because she was so nice. They didn’t have to be told twice. Though the did have to look at each candy bar repeatedly to ensure they were making the best decision. We left, candy in hand. I’m praying they don’t start asking people behind us in line if they’ll buy them a candy bar. 
I really didn’t want to let Cat Lady treat them. Mostly because we just had a weekend of indulgent eating and, as mentioned, I don’t want them to think that strangers should just buy them something they want. (Is this an unrealistic fear?) But The Look trapped me – I couldn’t say no. I neither wanted to be the person who was so uptight about sugar for her kids nor wanted to steal joy from an old woman who just wanted to be nice.  So I caved. 

One of my major goals for my “Jesus Year” is to begin to live more generously. I’ve been struck recently by the generosity of others in my life, even if in seemingly small ways – a friend bought me a drink one evening, another one treated me to a cup of coffee.  Now a random stranger wanted to give my kids the small joy of a candy bar. 

To put it nicely, I would never do that. I would try. I would want to. I would intend to. But follow through? Psh. 
My friends, and especially Cat Lady, are teaching me what I’m missing with my fist-clenched lifestyle: the joy of giving. Watching 2 little girls as their eyes light up selecting the perfect chocolate (ahem, Butterfinger) and knowing I was a part of that. I helped make that happen. 
Perhaps I’m not generous because I’ve not practiced being generous. I don’t know that beautiful feeling, so I falsely believe that keeping my own to myself brings the utmost gratification. 
A friend of mine put on FB one time: Dear God: May I be generous to a fault. May I be so lavish in my generosity that people even consider me wasteful. Unreasonable. Imprudent. Because then, maybe they will get even a glimpse of how You have been toward me.
It caught me and stuck. Yes, that. What if I were to live as generously as God has been to me? What if I lived like I believed? I believe God to be generous, what if I lived like it were true? What would that look like? 
I’m challenged to stop looking only at the bottom line. (Sure, the bottom line counts somewhere, but it’s not the only question to be asked). Because I do believe in a God that transcends the Maths. He multiplies and divides and always has enough. 

Conversations about God

As previously mentioned, I tend to overthink things. So it should not surprise me when I contemplate how to talk to my kids about God and what exactly to say. I feel strongly that as a parent it’s primarily my job to not just tell, but show my kids what it means to walk with God in life. I don’t believe this task can be outsourced to the professionals at a church (though I live in deep gratitude for what they do with the kiddos each Sunday morning as it really helps provide a jumping off point to conversation). 

However, in my desire to do things “right” or “well” I tend to avoid them until it’s perfected. So my conversations with my kids about God have been limited. It’s not so much that I don’t know what to say about God but rather I’m dumbfounded at what they can understand. I require a child development course prior to participating in children’s ministry. 
But last night, as H Boy and I ended our prayers, I began to wonder what all he understood about our rituals. We always end our prayers with, “And tomorrow help me be more like Jesus.” So I asked H if he knew what Jesus was like. 
“Nope.” 
“Oh, okay. Well… Jesus is kind.”
“Kind?”
“Um, well, he’s nice to people. He thinks of other people first.” 
I’m not really okay with beginning our understanding of God with making Jesus the Good Boy, but in all honesty, I’m not sure where to start. I don’t want H to go to church and tip over tables because he wants to be more like Jesus. 
So I told H that Jesus lived inside him. He liked that.
“Jesus lives in you. He’s in your heart.”
“Jesus is here in my leg. He’ll help me to be a big boy.”
“Well, where else does Jesus live?”
“In my belly.” 
The best I could do was remind him that because Jesus lived in him, when there were times that H didn’t know how to be like Jesus, Jesus could show him. 
Puzzled look. 
Give me teenagers over 3-year-olds any day. 
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