Author: Michele Minehart (Page 300 of 311)

If there’s one thing i’ve learned about myself as i have added the mother-piece to my collection of selves, it is an awareness of strength. it’s not just the guns, though toting an 11 pounder does help the conditioning. but most recently i have experienced what Lisa See calls in her books “mother love.” mother love is, as so many people have been quick to tell me, “unlike any other love you ever experience.” (i hate it when people say things that really mean nothing …). but i have to agree that my love for little H involves thoughts, emotions and fears that i don’t necessarily experience with the many other people I love.
mother love takes more strength than wife love, daughter love or friend love. twice in the past 4 days I’ve had to listen to the little guy scream, chin quivering, because of decisions i had made on his behalf – getting shots and denying him sleep so he could have his ears tested. he was so mad, it made me wonder if i was making the right decision. but mother love requires that you step back and let your little one experience the uncomforts of the world.
it seems that mother love is about the whole picture. you’re making decisions and living each day of your life not just for what your child needs at the current moment but for what s/he needs for a life of wholeness. mother love isn’t about the shots, it’s about the health. it isn’t about the bath but about becoming clean. it’s not about the food, but about nutrition.
mother love isn’t just about the current moment, though each and every moment is a joy to experience. and most interesting is that mother love is all about the child, though i would argue that the mother is on the recieving end when it comes to joy.

*i’m sure there’s an equivilent father-love. however, i am not a father and lisa see did not write books about the topic.

**the title of the post comes from one of my favorite songs from one of my most favorite musicals, the wiz.

i was going on and on in my head about how frustrated i was with the world of health insurance. surely enough, when my relationship with my employer was on the mend, they decided to change insurance – and all but cut us off. the policy they’re offering us is beyond sub-par: it wouldn’t have even covered half of all we incured during november when henry was born.

but then i looked again at the bill from childrens, saw how much it was (over 18k), and how much we’ll have to pay (just over 700) and became very grateful. timing was on our side that we even had such amazing coverage when he was born. while we were there, and especially while staying at the ronald mcdonald house, we were able to see that there are so many in situations far worse off than our own.

that, my friends, might just inspire a rant. the very people who need health insurance the most cannot afford it. and a healthy lifestyle isn’t all that cheap either – do a quick price check on organic veggies vs. a tony’s pizza. it’s really no wonder that such discrepencies exist. i’ll stop there or it could get ugly.

all this to say, we’re very lucky. this super insurance is going to cover H’s visit to the Cleveland Clinic to see Dr. Ziska (yet another reason we are so very lucky!). but now i must be off to fill out insurance forms for the new plan. thank you bg for coming to the rescue.

henry is currently looking a little like this – bundled in sweats, blankets, and sitting on my lap to keep me warm. after an outrageous gas bill last month we’re trying to find ways to cut down on the thermostat… i am currently no more than 3 feet away from a ceramic heater and cannot feel my right hand. left hand is ok – it’s holding henry who is currently serving as my own personal heater. don’t worry, he’s staying plenty warm (i keep feeling his head to make sure).

so my toes feel a bit like my heart. my current quest is to be inspired. just haven’t felt that lately. maybe it’s the old “when you’re looking for it you can’t find it”, but i’d like some vitalization. we’re joining a new small group, i’m hoping that well help. but then again maybe it’s not just inspiration, it’s information. i miss learning. i want to go to school again. i want to have thoughtful conversations about all kinds of topics (which usually have no practical bearing on life at hand).

i think all this has been brought on by my change in life situation. when working for the church i was challenged to come up with creative ideas to engage people with what God was doing, saying and being. i loved coming up with ways to communicate that. then i went to work for a company that asks me to spend my time playing matchy with key words as i sort through resumes. i’m greatful for the job, don’t get me wrong – but it’s mindless, and i love using my mind. as well, with the arrival of henry, i spend a lot of time dealing with the primitave realities of life – eating, sleeping, pooping… i love the little guy, but again, he requires more of my patience than he does my intelligence. factor in that i love learning and haven’t been in class for over a year (and i’m green with jealousy that my husband gets to do it every day!).

so, maybe i’ll request a few books from the library. currently looking for: a brief history of everything (our library doesn’t have it!).