Author: Michele Minehart (Page 204 of 311)

Wow. I love this little girl.
Don’t get me wrong – I love the other 2 as well. And I’ve heard parents say before that there are fears of “not loving the next one as much as this one” (especially after the first), but that you “just do” love them and it’s amazing. Between the first 2 I never really lived in those fears much, I loved them both from the start in very similar ways. I read once that having multiple children required you to teach your heart to expand, not divide. I thought that was neat.
But this morning holding C I was struck by how much I loved her and how little that had to do with how much I love the others. Mutually exclusive. And then I got to thinking how I just “do” love her, and each of them, because… well, because I love them. I was briefly tempted to try to siphon out “why” I love each of them so… but it struck me that I don’t love H for his boyish, playful qualities or M for her giggles and curiosity and desire to be like the big kids, or C for her sweet and innocent stature. I do find those qualities endearing, but they’re not the source or the cause of my love. I simply love them because it’s what I was created to do. It’s in the operating system.
It made me reflect on God’s unconditional love**. I’ve heard the phrase a million times, plus one. But today I began to see, in a small way, a much larger truth about what that means. God doesn’t love “in spite of” my lackluster qualities or “because of” my more marketable skills. He just loves because that’s how the system is built. I honestly feel that there’s not a way for me to not love my children (and I feel most, if not all parents agree)… and I anticipate that God might share a similar sentiment.
That’s all.

(**Ed note: I’m not one that believes that Parents hold some sort of upper-level right to new insights about God that non-parents aren’t privy to; I view it more like this: God is an elephant, much too large to fully see and understand when you’re close. So you’re familiar with parts, and new life experiences expose us to a new view. Sure, becoming a parent might bring you to a new angle, but so does living a life of service to the poor, living in another country, or as a nun. No particular look at the elephant is any “better” than the rest, it’s just simply different. Today I appreciated a new look at say, a toenail.).

It was a tough day, a frustrating day and yet I’m not sure which of these amazing people were the biggest blessing. We headed to my folks’ house to put in an offer on a house that we both liked with a “motivated seller”. Turns out that a short sale is not titled for its time-to-close. So, before moving forward we decided to make sure there’s nothing else that we missed after our last roundup of houses. So tomorrow we drive southward. Again.
In the midst of this,
A) My dad is amazing. He’s making calls, setting up appointments, running figures, making more calls (to annoying sales-ish people, mind you) and trying to help us to the utmost extent. We’re forever indebted. I just can’t bake enough cookies to tell him thank you. And he refuses to let us buy lunch. I’m determined to come up with something to show our gratitude.
B) KLR shows up with dinner in hand, takes me on a 2 mile hike to walk out a baby and then just sits and listens and engages me in stimulating conversation to take my mind off the frustrations of the day.
C) My husband entertains the kids (H learned how to somersault today; M’s attempts were also hilarious), works with above-mentioned (slightly high-maintenance) father to outline tomorrow’s events while I engage in said conversation with KLR.
D) Super-Sitter Cindy agrees to take my kids for the afternoon with such short notice and for a somewhat unknown length of time.
I can’t get over how blessed I am. It really isn’t the events of life that make or break the day… it’s who is sharing them with you that can determine how manageable they are.

Dear #3,
I fear this is probably at least a little my fault. You seem to be taking on a few of my more undesireable traits as of late, namely your lack of punctuality (well, you’re not early by any stretch), but I’m also psyschanalyzing that you have a bit of a fear of the unknown and a tendency to stick with what is comfortable and familiar.

Apparently, we’ll be learning to overcome these things together in the next few months.

It’s been a good ride so far, these past 9 months. But honestly, it’s time to pull your own weight. Well, I’ve been pulling both of our weight the whole time, but you’re getting to be big enough that perhaps you can share some of the load. I don’t expect you to be mobile at first appearances, but I’m not going to lie: I look forward to the time I can lay you down or hand you off and have a bit of… space. But back to our good times together.

I’m glad I could be the hostest of the mostest. I’m sure the consistently regulated temperature and constant food sourcing are amenities that you don’t want to leave behind. It is July afterall, and this heat-regulation skill can be tricky. But I do promise a life of good food ahead of you. Our hospital serves the best chicken tenders, and well, what I eat, you eat. Eating is one of my marketable skills. I like food. Fair season is approaching, so there is bound to be some delicious fried dough with sugar, accompanied by some sort of slushie. So, I hope that might lure your tastebuds in the right direction.

Comforts and luxuries, like an umbilical cord, are nice for the beginning stages of life, but I have to say, if you stay in there forever you’re really going to miss out on the real show. You might eat like royalty and sleep on a whim, but you’ll miss out on exciting things. Like your brother and sister’s singing. Or better yet, your dad’s dancing. You don’t get comedy like that where you’re living right now.

It might be scary at first. It’s okay if you cry on arrival; we all do. But this Big World is full of far more joys and excitement and love than it is with hurt and pain and evil. Those things might linger nearby and can even sometimes overwhelm us, but I promise they don’t win.

So, I’m asking – as your mother – to please join us. It’ll be much more fun if you participate, rather than just evesdropping through the walls. You have a fan club awaiting, people who love you already and can’t wait to put a face and a name to an idea in our heads and hearts. We want you to join in the cuddles and the loudness and even in the challenges of Family Life, because we know it’s better when you live it together.

We hope to see you very soon. Though middle of the night guests aren’t always appreciated, we’ll make exceptions in these situations as I know you might be lacking access to a clock. So, whenever is fine. We’re waiting on you.
Love,
Mom
(on behalf of Dad, H boy and Miss M)