Year: 2013 (Page 9 of 37)

In defense of: (My own) old folks Music

The other morning my Pandora station brought out a song that I hadn’t heard in a while. It took me back to Summer Project (#SDSP) and my initial thought was, man we should sing more of THIS at church on Sunday. My honest self will tell you I was tempted to email Bob and make a kindly suggestion. I refrained – thank goodness – and soon realized that this song is over 10 years (!) old.

I specifically remember thoughts of disdain when I went to churches and heard praise songs that were “at least 10 years old.” Come on, folks, let’s get with the times, I would say to myself. Shine Jesus Shine had its days of glory, but we’ve moved on.

Now, it seems, my musical preferences fit more into the archaic category. As KLR would say: another nail in the coffin. I suddenly have more empathy for the elders of our church, the ones from whom the larger evangelical “contemporary” movement has been trying to pry away the hymns and organ.

Music has such a powerful way of shaping and growing us. The tunes I hold dear don’t just have a catchy rhythmical structure. They catch my heart because of their presence in my life during significant  moments. They are the soundtrack to my faith story.

I remember singing and crying to a Jars song about being “between worlds”when driving to and from Athens my freshmen year, trying to figure out how I fit into this new, big place. Then came the Lakeside years and the handfuls of songs that call me to remember specific kids and moments. I cry nearly every time I hear Blessed be the Name because it was led so often during a period of time while I grieved for our friend Vanessa.  Never Let Go takes me immediately back to Findlay and a difficult period of transition for our family.

My heart leaps in hearing Listen to our Hearts because it made a round of my college friends’ weddings and I cried at the weddings, too.  My mom learned a Chris Tomlin song  soon after her dad and brother passed away, and I cry when I hear it, knowing it provided a healing balm to the sting of death.

I sang a DC*B song, Never Let Go, over and over and over after a miscarriage to remind me that In sun and rain, in joy and pain, You’re the same, You never let go. I heard a preacher once say to “sing until it’s true” and that’s what I did in that period. I sang it until I believed it. I did – and I do.

Music doesn’t just tickle the ears, but rather supports our hearts with truths. It sings to us the bigger story. Even the scriptures remind us to “sing to one another the Psalms, hymns and spiritual songs” because the ancients knew that music has a way of burning the truths into permanent memory.

Which is why we need to honor those whose own soundtracks include songs from yesteryear. Even more, because they share a soundtrack with many more generations than my own. My mom doesn’t have the same faith soundtrack as me, but I have to wonder if my grandmother shares one with her mom. Likely they sang the same choruses throughout their homes despite generational changes, much the same way most of us treat Christmas music. We don’t necessarily love Hark! The Herald Angels Sing because the words spur us to action – who actually knows what it means?  Rather, we love its heritage, its place in the rhythm of our years.

So be gentle, you young whippersnapper, when you rebuke the hymns of yesteryear. I have to believe that music (at least the kind used by churches) doesn’t exist just to tickle our ears or cause our foot to tap. It’s a tool for us to tell our story, to declare truths, to evoke thoughts that we can’t put to words until a base line provides the framework.

Someday a young person will tell me that Marvelous Light is irrelevant to the next generation and we need to move on. And then I’ll cry a little because they’re not just making my taste in music obsolete, they’re moving my story into the archives.

When I wear a pretty necklace

Someone who is more on the cusp of fashion trends than myself informed me that gold is back in the accessory rotation. So this morning I repurposed a few jewelry pieces from my previous life, bracelets I hardly wore then and a necklace that made its virgin appearance.

I only chose it because I recently purchased a silver owl necklace, so I know it’s hip with the youngsters now.
Beyond its trendiness potential, I felt it was appropriate for today’s voyages. The necklace bears little market value, but reminds me of the worth of great character. My grandmother Mary put it in a Christmas stocking at some point prior to 1997 (seriously, it’s vintage) and I’m positive I rolled my teenage eyes at its lack of cool factor. It’s an owl. The sentimental chump that I am kept it because my grandma gave it to me.
Grandma Mary was always bestowing chintzy jewelry on us gals and probably anyone who gave her reason. She kept an entire drawer full of the stuff. It was Avon. So, yes, the neighboring drawer housed random perfumes, lip colors and whatever else she probably dumped on my mother and aunts.
I don’t believe Grandma Mary really loved Avon. She didn’t even wear Skin So Soft, except to fight the bugs. She was a tried-and-true Exclamation(!) fan.
She bought and bought the stuff because in her later years, her Avon Lady became her biggest ally. While the family was only about 30 minutes away, she lived mostly solo after my grandfather died and my grandma did not drive (like, ever. She didn’t have a license. “Except to church” she once said. “If a cop is going to pull me over going to church, then so be it.”)
So frequently the Avon Lady would make a call, grandma would buy a future present and then they’d go get groceries. Or medication. Or eat at Aunt Millie’s. Whatever Grandma needed to get to doing, the Avon Lady would help her do.
One time, the Avon Lady had to pick her up out of a snow drift. It was quite a winter but Grandma needed groceries. After arriving home, Grandma got a little to close to the snow drift and tumbled over. The poor thing ended up with a black eye but she told the story like a warrior.
Now that I’m older I have a much deeper appreciation for what the Avon Lady did for our family. She cared for a widow in ways that meant so much. She kept her safe, she kept her company. Grandma, the hairdresser she was, probably craved company and conversation more than anything else, especially on days she didn’t have her Bridge Club.
What a brave, honorable, generous thing to do, to give of your time every week to make sure a wonderful old lady could get her groceries and have a little lunch. Granted, who wouldn’t love to hang out with Grandma Mary each week? But people value their time. Giving it to someone else is probably one of the greatest gifts we can offer.

It’s October 17th. Again.

I’d only been engaged for a few days. Vanessa was home, not doing much as it was the summer and she simply wasn’t feeling good at that point. The next transplant was scheduled, nothing to do but endure until the new kidney hopefully brought new life. 

I was heading to India very soon, but had stopped by randomly – unannounced – just to cheer her. I knew that with Anna away and John on the road, the extrovert in her probably needed a visit. I was right. I think I stayed 2 hours. 
We talked about nothing and everything. She gave me a something to keep my passport in when I traveled abroad (I think I still have it). We talked wedding rings and she recommended that I go with something simple so he could upgrade and add to it later – and showed me all the different ring “jackets” she had accumulated in her many years of happy marriage. I quickly shared this information and strategy with JJ. 
We talked about marriage, since it was at the forefront of my mind. She told me that the most important thing a man can do for his child is love the child’s mother. She told me about a study that gave people the choice of how to use a few extra thousand dollars, be it a family vacation, college education, saving it or a trip just for husband and wife. The professionals said the best use of the money in terms of raising children would be time alone for just husband and wife – that the most beneficial thing you can do for your kids is have a good marriage. 
Just love one another. That was her advice for me about raising kids. 
I hold it closer today than I did 8 years ago. 
 
 
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