Month: August 2012 (Page 5 of 5)

Functional Friday: Digital laugher

August 10, 2012 / Michele Minehart

A recent FB thread inspired me to remark upon usage of non-words, as I regularly mock people who use them improperly. I thought perhaps by logging The Rules, we’d be able to curb offenses. So, in our efforts to share with conversational partners that they are, indeed, hilarious, I’ve composed a little how-to of digital expressions of laughter.

I heard that. You just asked how I came to know The Rules of Digital Laughter. It’s quite simple. This is how I do it. And thus, everyone should.

The LOL: The primary form of digital laughter comes as the LOL. This means I just laughed out loud. (Technically, our little diddy is inaccurate: it’s aloud. Using non-words as shorthand for a grammatically incorrect phrase just heightens the absurdity).

Proper function of the LOL: informing your conversational partner that you just laughed ~~out loud~~ aloud.

Common improper use: a filler, like you would verbally with “uh” or “and” or “mmm”. It indicates that the phrase was heard or the last message was received, but with improper use it lacks the significance of how funny the other person actually was. Speaking as a hilarious person, I’m on a mission to abolish this practice of the filler LOL. To coach on improper use, I tell people, “Literal LOL” to signify that I literally* laughed aloud. Over time you can remove the use of literal as they understand your mastery of the English non-language.

And why should the filler LOL be eliminated? Because who wants a text that only says, “LOL”? It’s like the Gratuitous Thank You of the business world. An email, empty, except a thoughtless “thank you” serving to tell me that you’ve acknowledged the existence of my action or previous email. Ridiculous. The Gratuitous Thank You is another drain on society.

So, how does one communicate enjoyment of a comment without putting it on the status of the LOL? A few suggestions:

Haha. Quick and simple. It means “I caught that joke”

HA! The blurt approach. Much like a Bah! but quicker. It might be translated as “Please hand me a towel to wipe the coffee from my monitor.”

Hehehe. A polite chuckle of the non-literal variety.

Depending on your laugher style, there could be further options. Are you a cackeler? Or whooper? Then perhaps you can translate that into your digital laughter response. Let us hear your voice. My cousin Kimmy should drop LOL altogether for “aaaaaahhhhahahahaha hahahaha ahahah.” She would type that in a red font, as red always translates well into high-pitched squeals.

ROFL and LMAO/LMBO/LMAO? These are just silly. No one above the age of 17 should use them. We’re adults. We don’t need code. No one will tell your mommy if you found the joke funny. And besides, the un-literal use goes beyond the LOL. Rarely do I see an ROFL remarking on something of true hilarity.

*This would lead to a lesson on the proper use of the word literal. This means actually, in real life, not an exaggeration. You do not literally “see red”. Rule #1, never use the word “literal” with metaphor or simile.

Allow me to solve the world’s problems with a single purchase (hint: it’s not a chicken sandwich)

August 7, 2012 / Michele Minehart

One might think that I lack opinion in the Chik-fil-a debacle of 2012. But, really, when has that ever happened? No, I’ve simply been gathering thoughts at the pace of a turtle, a bit here and there, mostly because I’ve been at the lake so long that I’m unable to move at my usual breakneck speed. But my laking time is what brought about solutions, henceforth where we go.

I think the entire debate of chicken sandwiches and opinions on gay marriage might be water under the bridge if people would just buy more hammocks. Well, not just buy more hammocks. Like any product, you’d have to use it, too.

It’s simple, really. Who can get into a heated debate from a hammock? With your body floating weightlessly from the trees, a light breeze to keep you slightly moving… and when attached at the correct angle, like JJ perfected, your neck never cramps while you read. Delightful, I tell you.

And from a hammock, things like chicken sandwiches and exerting our rights to tell someone else who to marry just seem silly. Silly.

It’s about posturing. I once read that a couple resolved to only argue while nude. While JJ and I didn’t adopt this approach, I like what would seem to bring about. Who can really scream with things jiggling about, parts of you flailing that you typically keep tucked in? And issues like how to scoop coffee into the coffeepot (true story) seem outright obnoxious when you’re naked. I mean, your buns are bare and you’re talking about $14? How exactly do you stand in such an argument? Do you try to cover up? Do you strut like a rooster? Pose like the Thinking Man statue or the Heisman trophy?

A naked posture while arguing helps bring about quicker resolution because you’re faced with how silly it all is. (At what point do you say, “okay, clearly we’re not agreeing. Take off your clothes.”?) Similarly, a hammock-induced stance also helps perspective. A hammock is a natural inducer of peace and tranquility. You do not find hammocks at amusement parks or 4-year-old’s birthday parties. Or Van Halen concerts. Or middle school lock-ins.

So, while I respect the rights of others to have opinions on issues such as “traditional marriage” and I respect the rights of others to disagree with them, and I respect the rights of more groups to rally around someone with an opinion and eat chicken – or refuse to eat chicken – on the same day, I still find it a bit silly. Lay in a hammock and see if any of that makes sense.

It’s hard for panties to be bunched in a hammock. It’s about posture. Relax and live peacefully, seeking to do what’s right with everyone as much as you can.** Have an opinion, but realize that an opinion won’t change anything.

Laying in a hammock, enjoying edifying and purposeful conversation? Seeking to learn what it means to love? That changes things.

It changes me.

It changes my heart. My attitude. My pride. My constant need to be right.

We have to start there. We won’t change anything – people, the world, the power of sin, the definition of sin – if we don’t start with changing our own posture.

The hammock industry will thank me for this someday.

**Yes, that was an awful attempt at paraphrasing a scripture that I’m too lazy to look up right now. But I’m sure it’s Biblical. I’d guess that Paul wrote it.

Summertime realizations

August 1, 2012 / Michele Minehart

The kids began to sleep better – and longer – at the lake house than in their own beds. This, my friends, marks success. What. A. Summer.

Most people can only dream of experiencing a summer like our family did these past few months. We floated from here to there, and most of the time “there” was a lake with family and friends. We made a few ventures to new places, but mostly relaxed and enjoyed the view. The days we stayed home brought much-needed catch up time for school work and laundry, not to mention making the upkeep of a pool worth it.

I’ve been blessed / lucky / fortunate to work for a company that places flexibility as a core value and actually follows through on making it happen for employees. I joked with a few cousins about taking off six weeks in the summer and they laughed. For most companies, that just doesn’t happen. Granted, my leave was unpaid – as it should be – but my absence required slight reorganization on my account and a new way of scheduling some hours. My leaving meant work for someone.

JJ’s first day of school draws closer at a pace much faster than we would like. But as we suck dry the last few precious weeks of summer, I’ve been more reflective of my time. Here’s what I’ve come to understand.

Not working is expensive. Not just for lack of income, but because you end up spending your time doing something, and even those “free” outings eventually cost money, even if just in gas – our #1 expense for the month of June.
I won’t take this opportunity for granted. I joke about our lack of working in this house, but should probably be more sensitive to those who wish they could take time off and authentically unplug. I checked my work email for my first 5 days of leave and now I check it about every other week. Mostly to delete and make sure I don’t get locked out of OWA.
The time together has improved my marriage. JJ and I typically get along great, but as years multiply it can become easier to co-exist rather than allowing your marriage to flourish. Responsibilities and bills and kids screaming that they’re hungry get in the way of making marriage your numero uno. By significantly decreasing the stress level for our entire household, we were able to do that again.
I’m not sure how much time I have left in corporate America. I’ve put together the paperwork to return (hopefully not until the end of September, if it all comes together), and my current employer will have me for a while longer – No fear, Emily! But on the whole, I’m not built for clock punching. I’ve always known this. I belong a legacy of people who create their own work as an outflow of who they are and I’ve not been honest to that standard. I’ve got a few ventures rolling around in this little brain of mine, things I can begin while still giving hours to the day job. That’s what they say, right? “Don’t quit your day job?” This summer hiatus definitely prevented me quitting the day job with no plan in place.
But I need pushed to follow through. Jump. Try. Ask.
Using the summer to try to get my feet wet didn’t work out because, well, I was never home. I ended up having less hours to write than before, an unforeseen circumstance (Because who wants to be inside at a computer when everyone’s by the lake?). I’ve blogged more and developed 2 ideas I’d like to work on a bit harder, after some research. So my time this summer wasn’t a waste of writing – you just can’t buy the book.

I’m not sure how to replicate this summer, but JJ and I agree that we want to try again next year, and every summer thereafter. It’s been too valuable for us to simply not try. And instead of wishing and hoping, we’ve decided to look at it as one of our goals, asking “what do we need to do to get there?” No answers yet, but we’ve got another year or so to figure that out.

Month: August 2012 (Page 5 of 5)

Functional Friday: Digital laugher

Allow me to solve the world’s problems with a single purchase (hint: it’s not a chicken sandwich)

Summertime realizations

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