I needed tequila. It’s an ingredient in the sangria I’m serving tonight (hashtag, book club problems) and it’s a tad more than what I could borrow from a friend, though I tried. It became clear I would have to make a trip to the liquor store, which I hate. For some reason, such places heap shame on me, as if only dirty men wearing flannel would go there.

I carefully chose my outfit. I opted out of the yoga pants I really wanted for my more mature, functional adult looking jeans and t-shirt. Only the most decent for such an occasion. I briefly considered putting on office-y clothes, as if I were running an errand on my lunch break instead of buying alcohol mid-morning so I could immediately put it in the sangria, so the flavors could dance as long as possible.

The multi-tasker in me decided that I needed to rearrange the large pile of clothes to purge from the house and my ingenuity said, “hey! Just take them to the consignment shop uptown!” And so, I decided this must be completed ASAP. Because the store is right down the street from the liquor store, it just made sense. Both stores opened at 10am and it was well past 11.  Perfect. Stars aligned.

I carefully decided that I would get the tequila first. I told myself it was because I could park on the correct side of the street for both stores, which is a big deal because it was raining. Really, I think I just wanted to make sure that I wasn’t that mom who sold her children’s clothing and took the cash to buy booze.

We made the first stop. I had the toddler with me and he held it together pretty well for a room full of glass. He even scored a piece of candy from the friendly Alcohol Man. Then we headed to the consignment shop. Lo and behold, a handwritten sign on the door: Closed. Will open at 12:00 on Thursday. (Friendly reminder: this would be a great message to include on your up-to-date Facebook page. Just sayin’.) Noticing I didn’t have the preschooler with me, I confirmed: it’s Thursday. We had twenty minutes to kill.

So in midst of our wait, belly full of sugar, the toddler decided he needed a nap. This is not advantageous for afternoons. I would NOT have the dreaded 20 Minute Nap ruin my day. So I tried tickling. Teasing. Playing. Finally, I resorted to outright bribery. We walked across the street for a yummy treat.

We indulged in a few donut holes and things went south from there. He wanted more, or a cookie. And then he knocked his hand on the table and started screaming. The older women meeting at a nearby table switched their, “oh, how adorable” looks to the “get him out of here, I cannot hear a thing” looks. So we bailed. It was 12:02. And the consignment store still had its lights off.

I gave up and loaded him in the van. I tried to drown out his crying with a favorite song, to which he began screaming, “I hate this song!” Turn the radio!” By the time I reached our driveway he was full-on meltdown. Tired, sugared yet hungry, and – come to find out – with a splinter under his fingernail (ouch!). “Carry me in!” he wailed.

This, my friends, is why liquor stores should not be open during the day.

The end.

Laura’s Sangria Recipe

AKA: The reason you should keep tequila on hand

(*I had to quadruple this to use the full bottle of wine. Because, book club.)

  • 8 oz. red wine
  • 4 oz. orange juice
  • 4 oz. pineapple juice
  • 4 oz. tequila
  • 2 oz. fresh lime juice

Chop apples, pineapples, oranges, and lemons and let them mingle in the mix. Chill and serve with a “splash of sprite and sugar.”

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