Inspired by this post over at Stuff Moms Say, I give you my own bucket list of parenting toddlers-turned-teens.

1. Wait until my child is mid-conversation with someone whom he really enjoys talking. A potential date or a new friend, perhaps. Then repeatedly poke him in the thigh while saying his name 15 times per second. Bonus points for sitting on their foot and trying to hang on their arms at the same time.

2. When running at least 10 minutes behind schedule en route to her activity, insist that I must potty NOW and it CANNOT WAIT. After stopping at the nearest road side rest, release all 10 drops of urine into the toilet.

3. Take all the couch cushions and make a huge mountain immediately before he wants to lay down and take an afternoon snooze.

4. Insist she cooks dinner NOW. Refuse to eat it. Without tasting it.

5. No more than 13 seconds from when my child gets up from the computer, climb into the seat and bang my hands upon the keyboard repeatedly.

6. Wear a leotard all day long in the middle of winter. Insist on wearing it to pick them up from school.

7. Whenever she tells me “no” (because she is a teenager and she will) I shall ask at least 2 more times expecting a different answer and then one more time after that, just to further prove my point.

8. When she is dressed up and feeling beautiful for the homecoming dance, poke at her midsection and ask if there’s a baby in her belly.

9. Loud-whisper to them through an entire church service. Or movie. Or wedding. Or his NHS induction.

10. Take her ipad and/or phone and delete all the pictures, movies and change the password.

 

 

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