For Moms of Boys

Dear Mamas of Boys (specifically boys in the 2-5 year-old age range),

We’re on the same team here. You are doing a good job. Thank you – thank you – for the unnoticed efforts of your day today. Please don’t wonder if they’re “worth it”, because they matter.

Someday your little boy will grow up to be a distinguished young gentlemen and a cute little strawberry blonde (or a bleach blonde) will catch his eye. He will ask for the car on a Saturday night so he can take her to the Homecoming dance. You’ll help him pick out a flower.

He’ll nervously knock on our front door. After a few pictures and kind reminders, our babies will drive off together. My precious cargo will ride with your precious cargo. We’re in this together, see.

So when you ask your son to speak nicely to you, he will use the same tone and words with my little girl. When you demand respect because that’s how we treat people, he will grow to treat my daughter the same way. When you honor his tenderness and his thoughtful gestures, he will become thoughtful and tender toward her, because he knows the value.

You’re doing such a good job.

I have no doubt that when our kids meet, your little guy will get the ABCs and 123s. He will learn to read and figure out how to match. And if hitting a curve ball isn’t on his resume, that’s okay.

It matters very little what you teach him to do – I care more about who you’re helping him become. When you show him how to control his anger and express his feelings, I say a prayer of great gratitude because he won’t use his fists on my beloved. As you set an example of honesty, giving the cashier back the right amount of change, I know my little girl runs less of a risk of coming home in tears because “he cheated.”

You’re doing it, mom. Of course, we parents can’t follow a formula to guarantee a perfect outcome, and your son’s shortcomings aren’t a reflection of your own. None of us on this journey can offer a money-back guarantee. All we have is the hope of our example and many, many prayers.

But in your sometimes unpraised efforts, you’re showing him the way toward a good life, one in which he will share with others. You are shaping a wonderful young man, one that will bring joy and happiness to a precious little girl (not to mention his own mama).

Thank you, mama. You’re doing a good job. Your work matters, more than just developing a “contributing member of society”. More than hoping he gets into a good college and finds his dream job and makes a lot of money.

He’s going to hold the hand of my little girl and his character will matter most. Thank you for making it a priority in your mothering. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to write a letter to the mothers of all little girls, specifically ages 5 and just born.

We’re in this together,

Michele