Year: 2013 (Page 2 of 37)

The people in the pew

I became a blubbering fool at my birth-church family this morning. Advent tends to do that to me. (Other people get weepy around Easter. Not me. I’m a sucker for the incarnational story.) However, I decided to take the leap and share my heart because I’m trying to live honestly and it was a story and a point that I wanted others to hear.

It was Christmas Program day for the children. All the shepherds draped in burlap and angles with tinsel halos waited patiently to sing their songs and forget their lines. It happens every year, the kiddos with their pagentry. But every year, it matters.

Back in the day, circa-1990, I participated in the pagents, too. You probably did, too, if you were a church kid of any level. They tend to pull out all the grandkids of regulars for these events. One particular year – I wish I was a journaler and had written the date – we did a pagent that was a modern day narrator (me) “reporting” on the events of Bethleham. I had a significant speaking part and if you know me, my penchant for thespianism is pretty evident. The world is my stage.

Following the pagent one of the women of my church, Barbara, told my mother that I was called into the ministry. She believed after my reciting of lines of a play, that God had things for me to do.

The Patron St. Barbara

She was right. (Truthfully, if she had said it about any of the kids in the pagent, she would still be right. God has work for all of us to do – I’m just very aware of mine.) Now, years later, I’ve been asked to recall my “testamony” and calling. Usually, after “I was raised in a nominally Christian but church-going home…” I move to this particular incident. If my walk with God were a path of stepping stones, those words from Barbara serve as a cornerstone event.

I shared with my birth-church family encouragement – to the volunteer of the children’s ministry that this work matters. And to parents who work so hard to simply get the kids there and dressed and a part of the church – it matters. We are building into young disciples simply by giving them time, attention, love and, every once in a while, a microphone.

This church is experiencing a phase of transition as their pastor of 10 years has decided to step away from the pulpit and they look to fill big shoes. They love their pastor, he has brought a new life and energy to the church(es – it’s a 2 point charge).

But the first person to ever tell me of God’s work in my life wasn’t a pastor. It was a little ol’ lady in the pew. She was a woman who did the work of the people, serving on committees, sharing with the congregations about the goings-on of the conference and the UMW. She loved God, her family and her church.

Every once in a while I have to question what in the world am I doing here? As in, on earth. Most of the time, I don’t really know. I make it up as I go or feel led. I once told my pastor that I’ve just been stupidly following God and ending up in the right places. But when I question everything, I remember that God has told more than just me that He has something for my future.

When you sit and look around and wonder who the most important people of the church really are, it’s not the pastor. It’s the faithful ones sitting in the pew. The ones who endure pastor changes, leadership shifts, and music wars. The ones who write checks and pray fervant prayers. The ones who hang the greens and press the clicker for the powerpoint presentation. The mom who creates a “time machine” out of tinfoil for the VBS and the old guy with the matches to make sure the acolytes can light the candles.

These people matter. They’ve mattered to my story in countless ways and I can still list them for you to prove it. The work they do matters because it’s how I’ve come to understand that God does want to partner with me in my life, that Emmanuel – God With US – is true, true, true. His presence in my life and the light that I attempt to shine is the result of the prayers, presence, gifts and service of the saints in the pews.

God can use anything to reach and speak to someone. Most often, he uses His people. Not just bigwig famous speakers and writers and preachers and pastors (though I do love those folk as well) but more so, the kind spirits sitting in the row behind you who offer to hold the baby as you take off your coat.

If you’re sitting in a pew, please know that you’re not just taking up space. You matter. Your presence matters. You are speaking the truth of God into young souls without knowing it.

Of course I formed an opinion…

… and I think we need to calm the $%^& down. Seriously, fellow Christian-folk. Shhhh. Shhhhhhhhh. 

Yay for Phil, or whoever his name is, for “standing firm” in what he believes and not letting a Hollywood life, lived in the deep south, change him. 
BUT. I just saw this whole debacle framed as “preaching the gospel.” My friends, a stance on homosexuality is not the gospel. Telling others they are sinners is not the gospel. 
Jesus is the gospel. His life, death and resurrection is the gospel. The hope and love and joy and peace and all those other things plastered to our mantels this time of year – that’s gospel message. 
We want to be impressed when someone quotes some Bible verses because we believe it’s furthering our cause. Take a look at Jesus’ encounter in Matthew 4 – even the devil can quote a lick or 2 of scripture. I’m not calling Phil Whateverhisnameis “Satan.” I’m saying that mentioning a view, a chapter and a verse doesn’t give him permission to speak for all of Christianity. 
Ol’ Phil-ster will be just fine. He has millions of dollars. He’s not hidden away reading his illicit Bible in an underground cave for fear of his life. “Persecution” is a stretch. Instead he has cameras watching as he pulls out his leatherbound, perhaps duct-taped, beloved Bible. I’m sure Zondervan will start marketing a camo-clad version next week. He’ll be fine
But after our reaction, it’s the world that gives me pause for concern. How will we reach others with the beautiful news that God is With Us, especially in this season, with all of our whining of persecuted lives. Not getting to watch our favorite rednecks on our 42″ flatscreens hardly constitutes a hard life, and perhaps we should get off the couch and find out what the world really needs. 
#endrant
 

Raising Imperfection

Deep down, every mama knows her kiddos aren’t perfect. Some of us don’t have to dig too deep. We love them dearly, but it’s quite obvious from the clothing they “match” and their version of “cleaning up.” They’re not perfect. We know. 

We can watch them fall short with good intentions. But now we’re to the age where I’m learning what it means to be raising a little person, one who, to put it honestly, sins. Sometimes unintentionally, sometimes flagrantly on purpose. 
Kind of like me. 
I don’t fully understand why we (specifically, I) want to have kids, but I believe at least a small part of it is a desire to see a better life. To right the wrongs and fix the misses. The dad who raises a quarterback because he missed the pass for the winning TD. The mom who harps on her kids to clean up bedrooms because she’s lost in her own inner mess. We want something better than what we’ve done and we begin to put our hopes in a child. 
The attempts are centuries old and only one Mama in the world could brag that it worked (and she was too humbled to do so, probably because she never intended it in the first place). The rest of us are left to look at our little ones as they grow into this world, making decisions we don’t like, trying to steer them in the right direction yet knowing that ultimately we can’t control the outcome. 
Today my little man lied to me outright in a knowing, premeditated way. Thankfully it only involved the presence of – or lack thereof – socks, but I nonetheless flipped out. That’s a character trait I simply don’t want for my children – lying. (And disrespecting. Whatever that broad generalization means). 
My sister talked me down and reminded me about age-appropriate actions and his lack of ability to fully understand. I can deal with accidental shortcomings. But now he’s picking up weapons that he doesn’t realize have destructive power and is starting to play with the ammunition. He lacks intent, but he can hurt someone when he pulls the trigger. If he fires off too many rounds, someone will become his victim. 
A good hunter or weapons-man doesn’t fear the gun, she respects it. She understands the power and the consequences. It doesn’t take seeing someone get shot for that lesson to sink in, does it? In the same way, we teach how words and actions carry power to hurt or to help. They’re powerful because we get to choose how to use them. And we don’t have to use fear – we can use respect. 
Which means a lot more work on my part. It means following through, every time. It means doing what I say – every time. It means giving him room to explore boundaries and limits and freedom while I’m still able to wrap my arms around him and help lift the weapon, so we can get a better aim. 
I don’t want him to lie to me, but more so, I don’t want him to become a liar. That happens when he doesn’t learn the responsibility that comes with freedom. 
At this point, his lying does not make him a liar any more than I, in wrapping presents, am an elf.  What we do does not have to define who we are.  I think a good mother would not let him wallow in guilt but instead points higher: he loves people. He wants to honor them. He doesn’t like to hurt them. He won’t live out these truths if he doesn’t believe it’s who he really is and that he has the power to decide how to live. 
He’s testing limits and discovering his own power in life. I suppose my job isn’t to keep him away from the tools but rather show them how to use them to help, not hurt. After I get angry I have to get to work setting the example by honoring and respecting and not fearing, if that’s what I want from him.  
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