1. A shirt. That fits. Over the entire torso without needing 1+ tank tops to cover indiscriminate patches of flesh. Without stains. That matches everything (read: all my yoga pants).
2. A pedicure that I neither found the salon nor scheduled. I just show up. One where they offer me complimentary drinks to relax and it takes a good hour to complete. Possibly a painless leg waxing while they’re at it, if that exists.
3. A bed to myself, door shut, a few Ambien and possibly a good catheter for just ONE night of complete and uninterrupted sleep.
4. A week without menu planning and grocery shopping, where all 3 meals miraculously show up at my front door, prepared to my obnoxiously high standards.
5. Once… just once, this scene:
Me: Okay kids, it’s time for nap/bed!
*Sounds of feet shuffling upstairs*
“M, you can use the potty first.”
“No, that’s okay, you were here first.”
*Sounds of doors clicking shut*
*Sound of complete quiet for 2 FULL HOURS*
Ok, I lied. If I had this just once, I’d spend the rest of my days longing for it to reappear.
6. A really big bowl of creamy pasta with chicken and sundried tomatoes and bread/sticks which won’t make me feel like I’m in a coma afterward.
7. To go on a 3 mile run in 70 degree weather, with a slight breeze and a spot of sunshine.
8. A year month of traveling around with Jen Hatmaker, followed by open doors to get to do what she does.
I’m not asking for much, am I?