I realize I’ve been a bit silent as of late. Truth be told, I’ve been putting my creative energies into other things, though I do hope to rebalance in the near future. This comes on the heels of a time of reflection and decision making, all of which challenged me more than I anticipated.
This week will be my last week at my current job. I know, my FB friends may whither away in despair without my regular “please don’t be that idiot” resume posts. But I’ve decided that my season with my employer has passed, though it has been a wonderful 5 years. This job has been very, very good to me (and my family, which as grown exponentially since I began there), which made it even more difficult to leave.
I could do this job for a long, long time. The tasks I’m assigned each week fall within my skill set. I’m paid (more than) a fair wage. I enjoy a level of flexibility and freedom that employees at most other companies only dream of. When I’m honest with myself, I sometimes feel like a spoiled brat for leaving.
But the truth is, just because I can do this job doesn’t mean I should. Shane Hipps posted on FB not too long ago a quote, “You can use a flute to stir soup, but that’s not what it was made for. What we can do and what we were made for are not always the same.”
|Picture credit: WorshipHouse Media, thanks to a google search of “flute stirring soup.”
It pretty much stopped me in my tracks and made me consider how I spend my time and energy, both so precious nowadays. It also brought to light that while the flute is stirring soup, it’s not making music. At best attempt, it’s simply blowing bubbles.
As long as I continue to give myself to something I can do rather than that which I was made for, my music won’t be heard. And though my music might not be a symphony or concerto or even a one-hit wonder, it is what God needs sung.
So I ask myself, as I so often do, “What does that look like?” And in the words of the Great David Crowder, I. Don’t. Know. For the moment, it’s picking up a bit of side work for a few businesses I appreciate, working tasks that I enjoy and that hopefully benefit the business. I feel 200% appreciation for those who agreed to let me hang on to their boat while I’m learning to swim in whatever business it is becoming.
It’s a bit sad for me to close this season, yet exciting to enter a new one. I feel supported, excited and completely aware that I don’t know what’s coming. But I also welcome this new sense of peace amid the uncertainty that I am moving closer toward whatever song it is that God has asked me to play.