The other day a FB friend posted one of those humorous sarcastic postcards that I’m addicted to, but this one rattled me a bit.
I kept thinking and thinking about it, and finally I realized it slightly hurt my feelings because, well, I tend to be on the Supermom Spectrum. I’ve had days – typically Mondays, I’m not sure why – that I’ll knock it out of the park in terms of productivity. But instead of celebrating a meal well made or a load of laundry folded, I feel like I’m supposed to hide that under the clothesbasket and lament a loss of motivation.
The thing is, I don’t do everything well – I just do some things well and I do those things often. I know my strengths (dinner, laundry, naptime) and I play to them. But by no means do I hit levels of perfection. I’m awful at keeping my dog-hair laden carpets clean, but thankfully I married a man that can wield a powerful vacuum. My van is a disaster. DIS. AS. TER. For those of you wondering if granola makes a good snack to go, it does not. But that Master of Dyson who I married likes to clean out the vehicle before leaving town.
I guess what I’m saying here is that you should marry someone who does well what you hate to do.
Well, it’s good advice, but it’s not the point.
My point clarified as FB post came to mind:
I wonder if we moms could begin to apply it to ourselves… when can we stop being so concerned with being a good mom that we forget we’re already doing it pretty well? Can we please stop naming all of the ways we’ve screwed up our kids and just celebrate the ones we got right?
Very few awful moms exist in the world; most do at least a few things really, really well. I know moms who know their kids’ individual interests and find ways to encourage them. Some moms have the knack of making even small things – picnic lunches, a trip to the river to throw rocks, painting toenails – seem like an exciting event and their kids eat it up. And those mamas who patiently rock their babes for as long as needed without resenting them for the work that’s not being done? Someone please saint them.
Don’t know what your mom superpower is? Think to yourself, “my kids will know that I love them when they remember how I….” and you’ll start to see a glimmer. Maybe it’s the way you put on a suit and fulfill life aspirations. Or the way you squeeze in a run at least 4 times a week. These superpowers teach our kids – especially our little girls – what it means to see yourself with value and worth. Or maybe you opened a store because you believe that even small town folk deserve access to quality products. Perhaps your mom superpower teaches what it means to believe in a dream. That’s just as good as a dinner without MSG.
I swear, every mama wears a cape. Stop shamefully tucking it in your jammie pants. No one said a Supermom did everything well. She does something well and it changes the world for those she loves.