It always excites me to a) chat with people in a coffee shop b) drink candy coffee c) spend time with youngins (aka high school and college students). Thus, this morning served as time well spent. And I love that the nature of such time always leads me to think more reflectively; the “teacher” always ends up the student.
On the surface, you’d think that Her issues were simply the classic struggles of a high school girl and dating. Sure, those struggles are there. But beyond the first line of discussion, you find that she wrestles with questions about what she wants from life, how to keep an honest relationship with her parents and what it is she’s looking for in deep relationships with others. All very, very good questions.
It made me (as previously mentioned) reflect upon the role of parenting. I started to wonder: what if my job is not to get my kids to answer or act in the right way, but to ask the right questions? What if, over the course of time, my kids desire something other than what I had planned for them (because we all know I’m a planner). Wouldn’t my time be better spent helping them ask questions that will lead them to fulfilling and God-glorifying paths?
Rather than teaching kids “this person is not a good influence on you”, could I teach my kids to ask “what are you looking for in life? how do the people you spend time with bring that out?” Rather than teaching “a college degree is the way to be” could I ask “what do you want from life and what resources do you need and steps can you take to get there?”
This is still hypothetical. There certainly must be holes in my theory. Especially at the toddler level. I suspect the methods and approaches for teaching children will change and evolve as they do, but I think guiding principles and philosophies will stay the same. What is my goal and my job as a parent, and how can I best live it out?
I know, it’s pretty deep for noon on a Saturday.