i’m like a spigot. water just keeps flowing from my eyes. unstoppable. poor jj, he wants to know why. while trying to conquer my roux for the chicken and wild rice soup, i tried to come up with it. the best i can do is narrow it down to a list:
1. hormones. a small living creature residing in your personal parts tend to throw off the body chemistry. my guess is that it’s hormones + any of the other reasons following.
2. my baby’s sick. i think. he randomly threw up his lunch on grandpa tom as he was leaving gus’ bday party. poor guy. also has a cold. and pitiful naps.
3. i’ve spent 2.5+ hours in the car the past 3 days. i don’t mind car time, but that’s a lot. just wears you down.
4. the coach of the denver broncos is wearing a hoodie sweatshirt over a long-sleeved t-shirt. you know how i know there’s a long sleeved t under there? he has hiked up the sleeves of his hoodie but left the tshirt sleeves down. clearly he is not married, no decent wife would let him look so pitiful.
5. i’m going to work close to 40 hours this week. and we allllll know how much i love to work. the anticipation of lack of time, trying to come up with dinner, getting us around and shuffled to the sitters all while showing some restraint in the upchuck catagory is just overwhelming. but christmas is coming. feast or famine, right?
6. it’s f*ctober. on any given day we’re forced to be sad about the loss of someone. today is jj’s family’s day. ugh. sympathy is def not something i’ve conquered, i have no idea how to be loving and supportive, especially 8 (*or 6*) years later when the pain is just as deep but not as remembered by all. “i love you” doesn’t seem to cut it. and when you don’t even have the privilage of sharing the memories of that person, you’re left even more on the outs. oh, jeez here come the tears again.

so, that’s about it. thank goodness there are bright spots: a nice dinner out with my sister, gus turning one and having a fabulous party to celebrate it, jj getting enough work done today that he is now tinkering outside which makes him quite happy.

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