If there’s one thing i’ve learned about myself as i have added the mother-piece to my collection of selves, it is an awareness of strength. it’s not just the guns, though toting an 11 pounder does help the conditioning. but most recently i have experienced what Lisa See calls in her books “mother love.” mother love is, as so many people have been quick to tell me, “unlike any other love you ever experience.” (i hate it when people say things that really mean nothing …). but i have to agree that my love for little H involves thoughts, emotions and fears that i don’t necessarily experience with the many other people I love.
mother love takes more strength than wife love, daughter love or friend love. twice in the past 4 days I’ve had to listen to the little guy scream, chin quivering, because of decisions i had made on his behalf – getting shots and denying him sleep so he could have his ears tested. he was so mad, it made me wonder if i was making the right decision. but mother love requires that you step back and let your little one experience the uncomforts of the world.
it seems that mother love is about the whole picture. you’re making decisions and living each day of your life not just for what your child needs at the current moment but for what s/he needs for a life of wholeness. mother love isn’t about the shots, it’s about the health. it isn’t about the bath but about becoming clean. it’s not about the food, but about nutrition.
mother love isn’t just about the current moment, though each and every moment is a joy to experience. and most interesting is that mother love is all about the child, though i would argue that the mother is on the recieving end when it comes to joy.
*i’m sure there’s an equivilent father-love. however, i am not a father and lisa see did not write books about the topic.
**the title of the post comes from one of my favorite songs from one of my most favorite musicals, the wiz.